Windows Update, then computer hangs opening anything!

Update ran at 3am said critical update, woke up this morning 8am and its taking about 12 min to load a program and programs loading incorrectly.

Uninstall the update and see if the issue is resolved. If not, the problem has nothing to do with the update. Also, let us know the kb number.

i had this problem once, after update the pc was slow as hell and it ignored my commands, i just restarted it, run ccleaner and everything was back to normal, hope it will also be this easy on your side
good luck