I saw a 3+ year old log file in appdata\temp and some quick searching indicated that it is related to 'Windows Fax and Scan'. I went to Control Panel...
Ok, this sounds like a Windows 7 installation problem which has nothing to do with the monitor. Personally, I was unable to boot to my Windows 7 SSD...
So they have a no-newb policy? Interesting. I would believe it, anyhow. It's just one of many micro-managed shitholes that define the internet today....