Jokes Thread 2


  1. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #991

    A woman sitting in an Adelaide restaurant suddenly began to cough.

    After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress and two locals, Kenzie and Brian, turned to look at her.

    Kin ya swaller? asked Kenzie

    The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.

    Kin ya breathe?" asked Brian. The woman shook her head No!!!

    With that, Kenzie walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her bum.

    This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.

    Kenzie swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.

    Brian said in admiration "Ya know Kenzie, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it."
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  2. Posts : 8,399
    ultimate 64 sp1
       #992

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  3. Posts : 9,582
    Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
       #993

    Like I said yesterday: Kathryn's back to posting her normal style of joke!
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  4. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #994



    (Not being a native English speaker, especially not accustomed to Aussie version of said language, I had to read that Pebbly's post a few times aloud before getting it, trying various versions to pronounce Hind Lick )
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  5. Posts : 9,582
    Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
       #995

    Hind Lick = Heimlich
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  6. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #996

    mickey,Kari and Dwarf , Glad you like them (getting hard to find now )
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  7. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #997

    :) Thanks Dwarf but as I mentioned, I finally got it.
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  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #998

    ROMANCE

    An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

    Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck.." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked..

    "To get my teeth!"
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  9. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #999

    Subject: Can you cut back too???

    The President ordered the cabinet to cut a whopping
    $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget!

    I'm so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided
    to do the same thing with my personal budget. I spend
    about $4000 a month on groceries, medicine, bills, etc,
    but it's time to get out the budget cutting ax, go line by
    line through my expenses, and go to work.

    I'm going to cut my spending at exactly the same
    ratio -1/35,000 of my total budget. After doing the math,
    it looks like instead of spending $4000 a month; I'm
    going to have to cut that number by twelve cents!

    Yes, I'm going to have to get by with $3999.88, but
    that's what sacrifice is all about. I'll just have to do
    without some things, that are, frankly, luxuries.
    I hope you'll try to cut back too.
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  10. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #1000

    Dennis

    Keep up with the times. Old news from two years ago.
    I realize you just got around to reading it. LOL

    Mike
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