Jokes Thread 2

Hopalong X said:

xarden said:

...Should I... uh, get the banjo out now or later?

Cue music! time!

I've got a bad feeling here...

You shore gots a purdy mouth...

wUNDER who his dentusts ez?

profdlp said:

Hopalong X said:

xarden said:

...Should I... uh, get the banjo out now or later?

Cue music! time!

I've got a bad feeling here...

Guess someone had to do it.

It was all downhill from there...


...s-q-u-e-a-l...

profdlp said:

It was all downhill from there...


...s-q-u-e-a-l...

Very authentic, Steve.


Not from personal experience, i hope????

spinifex said:

profdlp said:

It was all downhill from there...


...s-q-u-e-a-l...

Very authentic, Steve.


Not from personal experience, i hope????

HAHA

So this woman is in bed asleep in the middle of the night when all of a sudden her drunk husband kicks in the door and comes walking in with a live duck under his arm. He points at the woman and slurs "I just want you to see the dirty pig I've been sleeping with!" The woman replies "You idiot, that's a duck, not a pig." The man replies "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you!"

One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.

Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back towards house.

Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see dat dere baseball cap a floatin' away from the house, den back again?"

Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yeah, dass my husband; I tole dat coonass he gonna cut the grass today, come hell or high water."