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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

02 May 2011   #1351
Devux

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Two pretzels are walking down the street. One was assaulted.
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02 May 2011   #1352
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

A couple of one-liners from the late, great Tommy Cooper:

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another dressed as an egg. I thought: “This could be interesting.”

I was walking down the road the other day and saw an advert in the window that said Television for Sale - £1 – Volume Stuck on Full. I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 May 2011   #1353
Devux

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by seavixen32 View Post
I was walking down the road the other day and saw an advert in the window that said Television for Sale - £1 – Volume Stuck on Full. I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”
That's a good one!
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.

03 May 2011   #1354
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

A midget Fortune Teller escaped from Prison recently....

She was a small medium at large
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03 May 2011   #1355
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

Quasimodo fell out of the church belfry and lay in a crumpled heap on the ground. "Does anyone know this man?" asked a police officer. "Dunno," replied a bystander, "but his face rings a bell."
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03 May 2011   #1356
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

There's a new drink called the Osama Bin Laden...

It's 2 shots and a splash of water.

A Guy
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04 May 2011   #1357
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

I do like that one.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 May 2011   #1358
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
There's a new drink called the Osama Bin Laden...

It's 2 shots and a splash of water.

A Guy




Cheers!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 May 2011   #1359
beauparc

Windows 7 64 bit
 
 

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals
from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.

At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries.

Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.

He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these
conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 May 2011   #1360
beauparc

Windows 7 64 bit
 
 

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO.

DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded, "Does that include those who are buried here?"

DeGaulle did not respond.


You could have
heard a pin drop
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