Jokes Thread 2


  1. Posts : 273
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1351

    Two pretzels are walking down the street. One was assaulted.
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  2. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #1352

    A couple of one-liners from the late, great Tommy Cooper:

    I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another dressed as an egg. I thought: “This could be interesting.”

    I was walking down the road the other day and saw an advert in the window that said Television for Sale - £1 – Volume Stuck on Full. I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”
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  3. Posts : 273
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1353

    seavixen32 said:
    I was walking down the road the other day and saw an advert in the window that said Television for Sale - £1 – Volume Stuck on Full. I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”
    That's a good one!
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  4. Posts : 3,300
    Win7 Home Premium 64x
       #1354

    A midget Fortune Teller escaped from Prison recently....

    She was a small medium at large
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  5. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #1355

    Quasimodo fell out of the church belfry and lay in a crumpled heap on the ground. "Does anyone know this man?" asked a police officer. "Dunno," replied a bystander, "but his face rings a bell."
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  6. Posts : 53,657
    Windows 10 Home x64
       #1356

    There's a new drink called the Osama Bin Laden...

    It's 2 shots and a splash of water.

    A Guy
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  7. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #1357

    I do like that one.
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  8. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #1358

    A Guy said:
    There's a new drink called the Osama Bin Laden...

    It's 2 shots and a splash of water.

    A Guy




    Cheers!
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  9. Posts : 208
    Windows 7 64 bit
       #1359

    A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals
    from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.

    At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries.

    Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.

    He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these
    conferences rather than speaking French?'

    Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
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  10. Posts : 208
    Windows 7 64 bit
       #1360

    JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO.

    DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

    Rusk responded, "Does that include those who are buried here?"

    DeGaulle did not respond.


    You could have
    heard a pin drop
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