Windows 7 Forums
Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

05 May 2011   #1361
beauparc

Windows 7 64 bit
 
 

Just been raped by a group of mime artists...... they did unspeakable things to me................


I thought I'd be a gentleman and hold the door open for a young lady; seconds later she said "will you sod off, I'm trying to have a crap!!".

Brought the missus some crotchless knickers yesterday, It had nothing to do with a sexual nature, it was so she could get a better grip on her broomstick..

Advice for Kate Middleton - If you get divorced make sure you wear a seatbelt........

A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol, police say it’s definitely race related ....................

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8..........................

The lead actor in the local production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night. To be fair the audience did try to warn him.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 May 2011   #1362
beauparc

Windows 7 64 bit
 
 

A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.

They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:

.................................................................................................... ................

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: October 16, 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.


P.S. F***ing hot down here!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 May 2011   #1363
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

An American tourist in London got split up from the main group and rather than waste time trying to find them he decided to to sample the beer in some of the West End's finest taverns.

As he staggered out of the eighth establishment he had an uncontrollable urge to relieve himself. Just as he unzipped his trousers he was tapped on the shoulders by one of London's finest who said "Excuse me sir, but you can't do that here. It's indecent and it's against the law."

"Aw shucks," replied the Texan tourist, "I've been drinking and I'm desperate to go for a pee."

"In that case, sir, follow me." With that he took the tourist down a narrow street and through a pair of large, ornamental gates into a beautiful garden with manicured lawns, close-cropped topiary shrubbery and tall trees. "There you go, sir, pick a bush, unzip and whizz away to your heart's content."

"Gee whiz," asked Chuck, "is this what you call British hospitality?" "No, sir", replied the police constable, "this is what we call the French Embassy."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

10 May 2011   #1364
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to curse ?

















Get another sweet, 80-year-old lady to yell ....






Bingo
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 May 2011   #1365
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

The Knob... this is a Pebbly joke.. I'm posting it for her.. lol

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're dead!!!!

A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.'

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.

'All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've
developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.'
The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.'

She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee
.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 May 2011   #1366
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Very good LPt , I now think you should wear the Naughty Girl tag
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 May 2011   #1367
jfar

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 May 2011   #1368
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
Very good LPt , I now think you should wear the Naughty Girl tag
hahaha ohhh Pebbly how did I know before posting.. you was going to say that to me..... this was too funny.,
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 May 2011   #1369
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
Very good LPt , I now think you should wear the Naughty Girl tag
hahaha ohhh Pebbly how did I know before posting.. you was going to say that to me..... this was too funny.,

Here ya go Gals


Attached Images
Jokes Thread 2-naughty_girl_playboy_pink_patch-100-x-147-.jpg 
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 May 2011   #1370
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by DocBrown View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
Very good LPt , I now think you should wear the Naughty Girl tag
hahaha ohhh Pebbly how did I know before posting.. you was going to say that to me..... this was too funny.,

Here ya go Gals
haha Doc.. I learned all I know about Jokes from Pebbly...:D
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread [3]
:note: continued from - https://www.sevenforums.com/chillout-room/106614-jokes-thread-2 ****** 22 ADULT TRUTHS ****** 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you...
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:25.
Twitter Facebook Google+ Seven Forums iOS App Seven Forums Android App