Jokes Thread 2


  1. Posts : 256
    Win 7 ultimate x64 sp1
       #1421

    ahhnold, the inseminator :)

    how far the mighty conan has fallen.

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  2. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #1422

    As I'm getting on in years my doctor prescribed viagra in the hope it would boost my flagging libido.

    On my next routine visit he asked if my love-life had improved.

    "No," I replied, "but every time I swallow a viagra pill I get a terrible stiff neck!"
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  3. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #1423

    The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
    enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking
    about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if
    they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen
    bring up the subject of sex.
    "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way
    you do," responds the Martian.
    Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners
    for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian
    go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny,
    weeny member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
    "I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.
    "Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
    "Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"
    "No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with
    his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until
    it's quite impressively long.
    "Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty
    narrow...." "No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears.
    With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire
    measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
    "Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.
    The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go
    their separate ways.
    As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?"
    "I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful.
    How about you?"
    "It was horrible," he replies, All I got was a headache.
    All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and
    pulling my ears."
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  4. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #1424

    Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?”
    Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

    Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny’s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!”

    His father says, “Calm down, son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”

    “Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s balloons and she’s screaming, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’”
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  5. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #1425

    Pebbly

    It is your turn on the naughty step this time.
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  6. Posts : 9,582
    Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
       #1426

    Get back on that naughty step, Kathryn!
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  7. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #1427

    I own the step
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  8. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #1428

    You have been on it so long they gave you the Title to the property!

    They will probably try to collect taxes now!.
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  9. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1429

    Jokes Thread 2-naughty.png


    ____________________
    )
    ______
    )Pebbly's Naughty steps...
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  10. Posts : 53,657
    Windows 10 Home x64
       #1430

    It made the news...

    Jokes Thread 2-newspaper.jpg

    A Guy
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