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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

06 Jun 2011   #1481

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
The World According to Palin

Paul Revere was really a British spy. A member of MI-1.0 predecessor of the famous MI-6.
Paul's famous ride was actually to warn the British the Americans were coming.

Aaron Burr was framed by Paul Revere for treason. That was a secret until you know who posted on Wikileaks.

More to come as soon as the astrologer consultation is over.

Rumor is that Betsy Ross was a KGB agent.

Sarah Palin fans try to rewrite history on Wikipedia - Computerworld
They will have to post it elsewhere.
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06 Jun 2011   #1482
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit

6 June 2011

Sarah Palin takes no responsibility for his thingy.

SEABROOK, New Hampshire -- Sarah Palin said Sunday she didn't mean to step on Mitt Romney's "thingy".

UnNews:Palin: I didn't mean to step on Romney's "thingy" - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

I hope she didn't step on Paul Reveres "thingy".
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06 Jun 2011   #1483

Windows 7 Ultimate 32bit SP1

Late one night, Jack took a short cut through a graveyard.
Hearing a tapping sound, he felt a little scared, but kept going. As the tapping grew louder, he became more frightened.
Finally, he found a man chiseling a gravestone.
"Thank goodness", Jack said to the man with relief. "You gave me quite a fright. What are you doing?"
"They spelled my name wrong", replied the man.
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07 Jun 2011   #1484
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1

Welcome to Seven Forums omi08. A Guy
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07 Jun 2011   #1485

Windows 7 Ultimate 32bit SP1

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Welcome to Seven Forums omi08. A Guy

Thanks A Guy! Appreciate your warm welcome buddy..:) I'm totally enjoying this thread, starter for the day at the office..
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07 Jun 2011   #1486
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10

Sex and good grammar

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was there for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say “1-2-3. When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say 1-2-3-4,” he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she casually asked:

"What’s the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
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07 Jun 2011   #1487

Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547

Husband gets home from work and says to his wife, "Our milkman has just told me that he's made love to every woman in this street, bar one.."

His wife replies, "I bet it's that stuck-up woman at number 54.."

- courtesy of Max Miller..
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08 Jun 2011   #1488
Layback Bear

Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64

Thank you Borg, I need the laugh this mourning. I wonder if that shaman has a potion that works every sunrise instead of every full moon.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
08 Jun 2011   #1489

Windows 8 - 64-bit

Bartender :
Guy goes in a bar, asks bartender for a "Bin Laden".
Barkeep says "what’s that?"
Dude says "two shots and a splash of water!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
09 Jun 2011   #1490
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Bartender :
Guy goes in a bar, asks bartender for a "Bin Laden".
Barkeep says "what’s that?"
Dude says "two shots and a splash of water!"

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