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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

16 Jun 2011   #1521
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

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Jokes Thread 2-bless-you.jpg 
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16 Jun 2011   #1522
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by xarden View Post
Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?
He thought it was a game.
Going to attack Simmo for telling bad jokes?
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16 Jun 2011   #1523
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by xarden View Post
Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?
He thought it was a game.
Going to attack Simmo for telling bad jokes?
Why did the sixth koala fall out of the tree?

He didn't want to leave anyone left behind.
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16 Jun 2011   #1524
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Another Ninja Koala!!!!



http://www.koalaninja.com/
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17 Jun 2011   #1525
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in he glanced up
and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that
she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took
the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out "Business trip or
pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business, I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago,"

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting
next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business
role at the convention?"

"Lecture," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information
that I have learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the
popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?"

"Well, she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the
most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American
Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is
that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Scottish
descent that are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with the
absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry,"
she said, "I shouldn''t really be discussing all this with you. I don''t
even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto McTavish, but my friends call me Bubba."
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17 Jun 2011   #1526
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Mary went to see her Granny to see how she was coping. Grandad had been buried only the previous week and Mary was checking up on the old girl.

Both sat down with a cuppa and Mary asked "So how exactly did Grandad die?"

"Well it was the Sunday before last and we were having sex," says Gran.

"Having sex!!??" exclaimed Mary. "Surely that was a bit risky! After all, Grandad was 93!"

"Not at all," replied Gran, "we used to do it every Sunday morning. In fact, we used to time ourselves by the church bells ringing - in with the dings and out with the dongs!!" Gran suddenly looked sad and said, "and if it wasn't for that bloody ice cream van going by, he'd still be here today!!"
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17 Jun 2011   #1527
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Just call me Bubba!
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17 Jun 2011   #1528
BrightBlessings

Win7 Pro-64 Bit
 
 

An accountant, a social scientist and a lawyer are seated in a room. A guy walks in and asks them: "how much is 2 + 2?" The accountant whips out a calculator, pencils and paper, scribbles for awhile, and then says: "The answer, sir, is 4." The social scientist grabs her laptop, fires it up a few minutes, and then says "Well, as you know this is not an exact science, but I can say with a 95% level of confidence that the answer is between 3 and 5."
The lawyer, meanwhile, gets up, looks under all the chairs, checks in the closet, opens the door to the room and looks both ways down the hall. Then he comes back, sidles up to the guy who asked the question, and whispers:
"I don't care. How much do you want it to be?"
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18 Jun 2011   #1529
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

"Father's Day is different in Beverly Hills. Kids have to buy presents for their biological father, their stepfather, and their surrogate father." -Jay Leno
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18 Jun 2011   #1530
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Just a Cup of Tea
ONLY A MOTHER WOULD KNOW !!!
One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2-1/2 years old, and someone had given me a little tea set as a gift, which was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of tea, which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home. My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said (and only a mother would surmise), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

NOW MAKE ANOTHER PARENT OR GRANDPARENT SMILE....
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