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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

12 Jul 2011   #1601
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

father was very anxious to marry off his daughter so he wanted tried impress her first date. "Do you like to screw?" he asks.
"Huh?!" replied the surprised young man.
"My daughter, she loves to screw and she's very good at it. You and she should go screw." carefully explained the father.
Now very interested, the boy replied, "Yes, sir!" Minutes later the girl came down the stairs, kissed her father goodbye and the couple left.
After only a few minutes she reappeared, furious, dress torn, hair a mess and screamed, "Dammit, Daddy, get it right, it's the TWIST!"
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12 Jul 2011   #1602
boohbah

Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit 7600
 
 

Bloke goes to the doctors with a rash on his testicles
the doctor sends him down the hall to the nurses room for treatment
the nurse has him take down his pants and underware
after a minute she says to him
"your going to have to stop masturbating"
"why " he says to the nurse
" because im trying to examine you" she says
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Jul 2011   #1603
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."
The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!"
To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind lady, I'll have to adjust the chair!"

source: Hot Woman Jokes - page 2
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.

13 Jul 2011   #1604
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

A little girl became very curious as to how the human race came into existence and one day she asked her mother: "Mummy, how did the human race start out?"

Her mother replied: "Well, in the beginning God created Adam and Eve, and then they had children, and their children had children, and so on, and son, and here we are today."

The little girl was not entirely satisfied with her mother's answer, so she decided to ask her father as well. "Daddy, do you know how humans came into existence?"

Her father explained: "Well, we started out as monkeys. After a long time their bodies began to change shape and they began to lose their hair. Gradually, they became more like humans, and here we are today."

The little girl was by now totally confused by the two different answers so she went back to her mother and said: "Daddy just said we came from monkeys. Do Adam and Eve fit anywhere in there?"

Her mother quickly replied: "Oh, when I told you that we came from Adam and Eve, I was telling you where my side of the family came from."

Source: Daily Mail
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14 Jul 2011   #1605
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Newfie Password

The Bank of Montreal was running a recent Password Audit and found Stevie O'Toole from Conception Bay (Newfoundland) using the following password:

MickeyDonaldMinnieGoofyDaffyBugsElmerPlutoOttawa

When Stevie was asked why he had such a long password, he replied, 'Lard t'underin geesus! Are yez blind er' stupid?
I wuz told me password had to be at least 8 characters long wit' one capital
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jul 2011   #1606
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."
The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!"
To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind lady, I'll have to adjust the chair!"

source: Hot Woman Jokes - page 2
Dennis that's a good one !!!!...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jul 2011   #1607
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

"MoeLarryCurlyABCDEFGH"

How about 3 characters and 8 Capitals.
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14 Jul 2011   #1608
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Mike that'll work also.... don't you mess up my joke... lol...
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14 Jul 2011   #1609
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

That was a joke?

I thought you were giving out passwords so I was trying to help.

My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jul 2011   #1610
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
That was a joke?

I thought you were giving out passwords so I was trying to help.

lol .....Sure it was a JOKE.. you didn't get ???... Thanks kindly for your help !!!...
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