Windows 7 Forums
Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

28 Aug 2011   #1781
panais

Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
 
 
Best Answer

This is thankfully not from this forum.

"How do i check my computer's memory usage?"
"I have a dell laptop and I want to check the memory usage on it. Any help?"

Best Answer - Chosen by......

"Check you hardisk. Go to my computer and see your hardisk then it you find one of your hardisk. Click right click and then you will see a list and then choose properties. For me my hardisk is in local disk c"

My System SpecsSystem Spec
28 Aug 2011   #1782
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by panais View Post
This is thankfully not from this forum.

"How do i check my computer's memory usage?"
"I have a dell laptop and I want to check the memory usage on it. Any help?"

Best Answer - Chosen by......

"Check you hardisk. Go to my computer and see your hardisk then it you find one of your hardisk. Click right click and then you will see a list and then choose properties. For me my hardisk is in local disk c"

Must have been a Dell Applesauce.

Maybe a Dell OSsux.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
28 Aug 2011   #1783
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Phone Man View Post
A blind man walks into a bar. Sits down and orders a drink. He then asks if anyone wants to hear a blond joke. The bartender says before you tell your joke you need to know that I am a blond and a female weight lifter, the girl on your right is blond and a professional wrestler and the girl on your left is blond and a professional boxer. Now do you really want to tell a blond joke? He thinks a minuet and replies, never mind I don't want to explain the joke 3 times.

Jim
WTG Jim.. that's a good one.. lol...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

30 Aug 2011   #1784
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

The Wee Button

Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house
exclaiming, "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that's come off of me fly?
I can't button me pants."

"Oh Angus, I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs
and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya with it."
About 5 minutes later, there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit
of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs.

Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Angus.

The little lady looks at him and says, "My God, what happened to
ya? Did you ask her like I told you?"

"Aye," says Angus. "I asked her to sew on the wee button, an she
did, everything was goin' fine but when she bent doon to bite off
the wee thread, Mr. MacDonald walked in."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
31 Aug 2011   #1785
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

A man was given a parrot as a birthday gift. Unfortunately, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word screeched by the parrot was rude, obnoxious and laced with swearwords.

The man tried everything he could to stop the parrot from swearing too much, but he finally lost patience and yelled at the parrot to shut up. The parrott swore even more profusely, which made the man haul it out of its cage and shake it furiously, but the more the parrot was shook the angrier it became.

In desperation, the man grabbed the parrot and threw it in the freezer and closed the lid. For a few minutes the parrot kicked and squawked, but then there was total silence.

Fearing he'd gone too far, the man quickly opened the freezer lid. The parrot very calmly stepped out of the freezer and stood on the man's outstretched hands and said: "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm very sorry for all the trouble I've caused you and I intend to do anything I can to correct my obnoxious behaviour."

The man was absolutely stunned at this contrite reaction by the parrot, but as he was about to ask what had caused such a dramatic change in attitude, the bird spoke, very softly.

"If it's not too much trouble, may I ask what the chicken did?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
31 Aug 2011   #1786
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Lol, a repeat, but still good

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Sep 2011   #1787
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job, given her liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and her jobs as a social worker and school teacher.

The foreman frowned and said, I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers and I voted for Obama."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Sep 2011   #1788
dreamer

Windows 8 Pro
 
 

Due to a power outage, The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.. Little Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on his bottom And he began to cry. The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

She quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place, spank him again!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Sep 2011   #1789
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Ring Ringrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
**'Hello?'**



**'Hi, Honey.**

**This is Daddy.**

**Is Mommy near the phone?'**



**'No, Daddy.**

**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'**

**After a brief pause,**

**Daddy says,**


**'But Honey, you haven't got an Uncle Gabe.'**



**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,**

**Right now..'**

Brief Pause.


**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**

**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**

**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy**

**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**


**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**


**A few minutes later**

**The little girl comes back to the phone.**



**'I did it, Daddy.'**

**'And what happened, Honey?' **



'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**


**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**

**And now she isn't moving at all!'**



**'Oh, my God!!! What about your Uncle Gabe?'**



**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**


**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**

**And into the swimming pool.**

**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**

last week to clean it.**



**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**



*****Long Pause*****






*****Longer Pause*****





*****Even Longer Pause*****





**Then Daddy says,**



**'Swimming pool'? ............**


**Is this 486-5731?'*


**No, I think you have the wrong number........*
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Sep 2011   #1790
seavixen32

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
 
 

An old Les Dawson joke or two about his mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law lay at death's door, but I said to the wife: "Don't worry, I'll pull her through."

When my mother-in-law visits, the mice jump on the traps.

I always keep a picture of the mother-in-law hanging over the fireplace. Well, it keeps the kids away from the fire.

When the mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I thought: "Good Lord, I didn't think they worked!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread [3]
:note: continued from - https://www.sevenforums.com/chillout-room/106614-jokes-thread-2 ****** 22 ADULT TRUTHS ****** 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you...
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:05.
Twitter Facebook Google+ Seven Forums iOS App Seven Forums Android App