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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

04 Oct 2011   #1841
wilywombat

win7
 
 

Quote:
I sometimes think that, both here in the UK and over in the US (and probably elsewhere in the world), we'd be better served by a Congress of baboons!
WHAT??? You mean we aren't already???
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04 Oct 2011   #1842
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by wilywombat View Post
Quote:
I sometimes think that, both here in the UK and over in the US (and probably elsewhere in the world), we'd be better served by a Congress of baboons!
WHAT??? You mean we aren't already???
I think Dwarf wants to import our baboons to eat his owls in Parliament.

Dwarf
We have a No Return policy on exported baboons and Congressmen.

We can ship the entire city of Washington D.C. to you including our Republican Presidential candidates.
Not a leader among them, all baboons.
I think you have a few uninhabited Isles to the north of Scotland that would be a perfect new location.
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04 Oct 2011   #1843
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by wilywombat View Post
Quote:
I sometimes think that, both here in the UK and over in the US (and probably elsewhere in the world), we'd be better served by a Congress of baboons!
WHAT??? You mean we aren't already???
I think Dwarf wants to import our baboons to eat his owls in Parliament.

Dwarf
We have a No Return policy on exported baboons and Congressmen.

We can ship the entire city of Washington D.C. to you including our Republican Presidential candidates.
Not a leader among them, all baboons.
I think you have a few uninhabited Isles to the north of Scotland that would be a perfect new location.
It's a deal... on one major condition, and that is you take our good for nothing MPs in exchange. We'll take your Congressmen as we will need something to feed the baboons, and they'll do nicely. It'll probably also be the first (and only) time that any good has come out of any of them.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

04 Oct 2011   #1844
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post
It's a deal... on one major condition, and that is you take our good for nothing MPs in exchange. We'll take your Congressmen as we will need something to feed the baboons, and they'll do nicely. It'll probably also be the first (and only) time that any good has come out of any of them.
Deal on the MP's.

We have Alcatraz and several Dry Tortugas which includes Fort Jefferson below for the new residents.
Dry Tortugas - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Fort Jefferson. Moat can include salt water crocs'.
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04 Oct 2011   #1845
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Cozy little Restaurant :

A Cozy Little Restaurant, An Exceptionally Beautiful Woman, and a Bottle of Merlot...

I remember her as if it was yesterday; a shame she was so picky. Ah well. .. J
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'.... And indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'.
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back..

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04 Oct 2011   #1846
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Cozy little Restaurant :

A Cozy Little Restaurant, An Exceptionally Beautiful Woman, and a Bottle of Merlot...

I remember her as if it was yesterday; a shame she was so picky. Ah well. .. J
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'.... And indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'.
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back..

Jokes Thread 2-pandypotty.jpg

Says in here LPt............You are still a Naughty Girl!


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04 Oct 2011   #1847
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Dennis .. OHHH No...... not again.. I've been caught .
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04 Oct 2011   #1848
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Dennis .. OHHH No...... not again.. I've been caught .
I will also send you a bottle of wine....
The brand is Ripple
I have no money and owe everyone even the shirt off my back...
But I do qualify with your last request....as long as you accept the endowment plan.


Pleasant dreams my Razorback Lady...zzzzzzzzzzzzz
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07 Oct 2011   #1849
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

This is for Hopalong X and a few other of you old farts!


BREAKING NEWS!!

To save the economy, on October 8, 2011, Obama will announce that he is ordering the immigration department to start deporting old people (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.
Old people are easier to catch, and will not remember how to get back home!

I started crying when I thought of you.


RUN, YOU OLD BUZZARD, RUN!!



Well..... Someone sent it to me and I’m not going alone!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
07 Oct 2011   #1850
panais

Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
This is for Hopalong X and a few other of you old farts!


BREAKING NEWS!!

To save the economy, on October 8, 2011, Obama will announce that he is ordering the immigration department to start deporting old people (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.
Old people are easier to catch, and will not remember how to get back home!

I started crying when I thought of you.


RUN, YOU OLD BUZZARD, RUN!!



Well..... Someone sent it to me and I’m not going alone!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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