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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

10 Oct 2010   #251
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

BB....I think it's all of the ABOVE... lol ... that's a real goodie. !!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2010   #252
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by BrightBlessings View Post
Idle Thoughts.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2010   #253
LauraM

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
I guess one has to be from Bucharest.
Why, in California you do not have little bunnies?
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.

11 Oct 2010   #254
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LauraM View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
I guess one has to be from Bucharest.
Why, in California you do not have little bunnies?

I think in California, everybody thinks of Playboy Bunnies

My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2010   #255
LauraM

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by DocBrown View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LauraM View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
I guess one has to be from Bucharest.
Why, in California you do not have little bunnies?

I think in California, everybody thinks of Playboy Bunnies

Perverted People


Attached Images
Jokes Thread 2-bunny-brown-cute-adorable.jpg Jokes Thread 2-images.jpeg Jokes Thread 2-ngbbs4b1da432d740b.jpg 
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11 Oct 2010   #256
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Where are you in the line?


A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver,
and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.


The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the
ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then
apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils
so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."

"The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings ,
Montana , which is about 550 miles from here."


"Good grief, is that where the job is?"



No sir -- that's where the end of the line is right now
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2010   #257
gladson1976

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Where are you in the line?


A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver,
and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.


The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the
ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then
apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils
so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."

"The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings ,
Montana , which is about 550 miles from here."


"Good grief, is that where the job is?"



No sir -- that's where the end of the line is right now
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2010   #258
BrightBlessings

Win7 Pro-64 Bit
 
 

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him
My elbow hurts like hell.Iguess I'd better go see a doctor
Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, Mike replies
There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a
urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than
a doctor.

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample...He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:


"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,Joe began
to wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars,
pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints out the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping at Costco!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2010   #259
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by BrightBlessings View Post
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him
My elbow hurts like hell.Iguess I'd better go see a doctor
Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, Mike replies
There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a
urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than
a doctor.

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample...He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:


"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,Joe began
to wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars,
pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints out the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping at Costco!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Oct 2010   #260
Techymike

windows 7 home premium 64, and Windows 10 64 bit
 
 

Funny thing about bunnies. My 2 year old son saw some Llamas this weekend at the circus and he kept calling them bunnies due to the ears and no matter what, he could not get past they looked like bunnies to him. It was very cute.
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