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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

31 Oct 2010   #341
Irene

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Joan Archer View Post
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, 'Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch.'

.
.
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31 Oct 2010   #342
Bugsy

Windows 7 Ultimate X64
 
 

Simon, a customer, visits PC Shop, the computer store, 'I'm looking for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics; you know, something really challenging.'

'Well,' replies the shop assistant, 'Have you tried Windows Vista?'
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31 Oct 2010   #343
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bugsy View Post
Simon, a customer, visits PC Shop, the computer store, 'I'm looking for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics; you know, something really challenging.'

'Well,' replies the shop assistant, 'Have you tried Windows Vista?'
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.

31 Oct 2010   #344
Bugsy

Windows 7 Ultimate X64
 
 

I dont mean to offend any vista user's who might be hiding out there, I mean... I was once a vista user not fan but user
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01 Nov 2010   #345
Joan Archer

Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
 
 

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what
they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dish washing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out
of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments
when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Nov 2010   #346
Bugsy

Windows 7 Ultimate X64
 
 

'Known issue' - It's just the solution that is unknown.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

Hold down the Numb Lock. Now phone 555-1212-4590 and ask for Lulu.

Path not found. Try the grass shortcut.

Kennel stack overflow problem. Your new Patch is now available. Call at the vet and collect your dog.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Nov 2010   #347
Bugsy

Windows 7 Ultimate X64
 
 

FILE EXTENSIONS;


.bin = Trash collector
.dic = Private eye
.fav = Boot licker
.gem = Jeweller
.ico = Office pin-up
.mam = Midwife
.mapi = Planning officer
.png = Table Tennis Champion
.pub = Alcoholic
.rat = Spy
.snd = Disk Jockey
.sys = Sister
.tiff = Marriage guidance counsellor
.wav = Cheerleader
.wiz = Magician
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Nov 2010   #348
Bugsy

Windows 7 Ultimate X64
 
 

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he replied, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Nov 2010   #349
Bugsy

Windows 7 Ultimate X64
 
 

I'm quite sad really ain't I, I have a list of jokes as long as my arm that i have had for about a year now that i got from work
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Nov 2010   #350
Bugsy

Windows 7 Ultimate X64
 
 

While my next door neighbour, Ian, was tapping away on his home computer, his seven year old son, Nathan, sneaked up behind him.
Then Nathan turned and ran downstairs into the kitchen, bellowing to the rest of the family, 'I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!
''What is it?' Mia, his elder sister asked gently but eagerly.
Proudly Nathan shouted, 'It's asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.'
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