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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

03 Nov 2010   #371

Win 7 ultimate x64 sp1

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Tews View Post
Job Interview

While being interviewed for a job While interviewing them for a job, the personnel manager said to the Maguire brothers:

'We're going to give you a written examination. Ten questions. Whoever gets most right we'll hire.'

Papers were produced and the boys set to work answering the general knowledge questions. When the time was up the personnel manager collected and marked the papers.

'Well,' said he, 'you've both got nine out often of ten, but I'm giving Mick the job.'

'Why's that?' asked Pat.

'Well,' said the manager, 'you both got the same question wrong but he had

'I don't know this' and you had 'Neither do I!'.

i give it a nine out of ten i think i understood what you thought you said; i speak a bit of blonde since one of my wives was so afflicted... and Millie is a proper Irish lassie, having been born and raced professionally in dublin, so i also understand a bit of celtic, tho she does have a slight speech impediment. the personnel manager was not really being interviewed, and the brothers were not often getting out for 9 holes of golf.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #372

Windows 7 Pro 64bit SP1

I muss chocolate fush
and the bist milkshakes in the wurld
an if New Zild had mineral wealth I woodn'd have lift.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #373

Windows 7 Enterprise

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by spinifex View Post
Don't forget words like:

Chilly bin
Jutter bars, etc.

In case anyone has not had dealings with Kiwi's, this will enlighten you.

Chully bun.
flip flops
speed bomps.

Oh gah... I actually some of these beached as bro t-shirt's. They were far beached as on a rack bro, in the 'fashionable' teen's shop at the mall. I was passing by. I was beached as and wanted a chup.
My System SpecsSystem Spec

03 Nov 2010   #374


xarden, I work in mining and hence work alongside lots of your Bro's from the north island and the mainland.:)
Never a dull moment, lol.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #375

Windows 7 Pro 64bit SP1

I work in mining
Spinifex, you must work in the West Island.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #376
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit


If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above ?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #377


Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by nithig View Post
I work in mining
Spinifex, you must work in the West Island.
You definitely would be a k one w one, lol.

Oh, and yes, i work in the west island. (mutter, mutter, mutter)
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #378


Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bugsy View Post
George landed his first computer programming position and he was thrilled. His father, Colin, although a stranger to the field, shared George's enthusiasm and welcomed him at the door when he arrived home after his first day, inquiring, 'What did you do at work today?'
He listened intently while George explained in great detail his eight hours of COBOL, binary code and JCL errors.
When George arrived home the following night, once again his father, Colin, was waiting at the front door. 'So,' he greeted George, 'what did you have for lunch today?'
When I were a lad... 1972-ish... the operating system on the first computer I used was called "George".

Funny thing is, I was using COBOL and JCL too....
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #379

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by bjrichus View Post
When I were a lad... 1972-ish... the operating system on the first computer I used was called "George".
He then upgraded to Bungle and Zippy!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Nov 2010   #380

Windows 7 Pro 64bit SP1

For the Aussies and Kiwis.

Why do NZ famers call a sheep 'mate'?

Kumate, kumate ...
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