Jokes Thread 2

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  1. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #541

    Oh, my!


    Dwarf said:
    Thank goodness for Duck Tape.

    Attachment 121161
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 71
    Windows 7 x64 Ultimate
       #542

    Where does the general keep his "armies"













    his "sleevsies"
    :33333333333333333333333333
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  3. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #543

    Impulse Fire911 said:
    Where does the general keep his "armies"...
    Ban him! Ban him! Ban him!



    (Just so you know, when someone my age lets out a horrendous groan, people are liable to drag you off to the hospital...)
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  4. Posts : 71
    Windows 7 x64 Ultimate
       #544

    lol wait wat, did someone say the joke already or what?
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  5. Posts : 1,491
    Win7 Pro-64 Bit
       #545

    Once again this year, I've had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe, so here goes:
    (Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!)


    1 cup sugar

    1 tsp baking powder

    1 cup water

    1 tsp. salt

    1 cup brown sugar

    Lemon juice

    4 large eggs

    Nuts

    1 bottle tequila

    2 cups dried fruit


    Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

    Repeat.

    Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

    Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

    At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK.

    Try another cup just in case.

    Turn off the mixerer thingy.

    Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

    Pick the fruit up off the floor.

    Mix on the turner.

    If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

    Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.

    Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.

    Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

    Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

    Greash the oven.

    Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

    Don't forget to beat off the turner.

    Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

    Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.


    Cherry Mistmas

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  6. Posts : 3,300
    Win7 Home Premium 64x
       #546

    profdlp said:
    Ban him! Ban him! Ban him!



    (Just so you know, when someone my age lets out a horrendous groan, people are liable to drag you off to the hospital...)
    Impulse Fire911 said:
    lol wait wat, did someone say the joke already or what?


    No it hadn't been posted before Profdlp is just having some fun with you. We aren't going to ban you just for posting that joke. It was just way to cheesy for him to not comment as such.
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  7. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #547

    profdlp said:
    Impulse Fire911 said:
    Where does the general keep his "armies"...
    Ban him! Ban him! Ban him!



    (Just so you know, when someone my age lets out a horrendous groan, people are liable to drag you off to the hospital...)
    That is for a second offense.

    First offense is tar and feathers!!!
    For his armies and his sleevsies!

    Mike
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 11,991
    Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
       #548

    Phone Man said:
    My bank called my wife last week and told her our checking account was overdrawn. She replied, it can't be I have 3 checks left.

    Jim
    Well, wasn't she right?
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #549

    Thorsen said:
    profdlp said:
    Ban him! Ban him! Ban him!



    (Just so you know, when someone my age lets out a horrendous groan, people are liable to drag you off to the hospital...)
    Impulse Fire911 said:
    lol wait wat, did someone say the joke already or what?


    No it hadn't been posted before Profdlp is just having some fun with you. We aren't going to ban you just for posting that joke. It was just way to cheesy for him to not comment as such.
    I'm STILL groaning over that joke.

    (And can't wait to pull it on someone else.)
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 2,578
    Vista 64 bit and 32 bit (SP2)
       #550

    As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
    As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
    "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again." Eric grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied.'"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

    So I wrote down:

    ID10T
    I used to like Eric, the little b*stard!
      My Computer


 
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