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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

11 Dec 2010   #571
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

Happy Holidays
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Dec 2010   #572
Tews

64-bit Windows 8.1 Pro
 
 

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,

Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Dec 2010   #573
Kari

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Tews View Post
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'


At least you shouldn't tell this joke to a blonde on Tuesday. If you do, she starts laughing just when you start watching Monday Night Football, disturbing the sport experience...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

11 Dec 2010   #574
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Dec 2010   #575
Impulse Fire911

Windows 7 x64 Ultimate
 
 

A man walks into a bar
his alcoholic problem is tearing apart his family
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Dec 2010   #576
lorddenis

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Tews View Post
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,

Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Dec 2010   #577
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Joke for today !!!

A man and a women were having dinner in a fine
restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each
other and holding hands.

Their waitress, taking another order at a table a
few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly
sliding down his chair and under the table, but
the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way
down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled,
apparently unaware her dining companion had
disappeared.

The waitress went over to the table and said to
the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your
husband just slid under the table.

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No,
he didn't. He just walked in."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Dec 2010   #578
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Impulse Fire911 View Post
A man walks into a bar
his alcoholic problem is tearing apart his family
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Dec 2010   #579
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Joke for today !!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Dec 2010   #580
Grimmy

Windows 7 Pro x64
 
 

Two blokes sitting in a pub
They take out their sandwiches and begin to eat
The bar-man shouts "HEY! you can't eat your own sandwiches in here"

So they swapped........
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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