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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

14 Dec 2010   #581
Graemzy

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Two snowmen in a field, one says to the other.

Do you smell carrots???
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Dec 2010   #582
xarden

Windows 7 Enterprise
 
 

Two fish were in a tank.
One says to the other, 'you take the gun and I'll drive'
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Dec 2010   #583
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

Holidays in the tech age....
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

14 Dec 2010   #584
alfred01

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit SP1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Impulse Fire911 View Post
A man walks into a bar
his alcoholic problem is tearing apart his family

Al-Anon? Been on one side of the problem.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Dec 2010   #585
alfred01

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit SP1
 
 

What dinosaur kept the other dinosaur's up at night. The snorasaurous.
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15 Dec 2010   #586
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

What is this?

Clip, clop Clip clop Clip clop

BANG! BANG!

Clip, clop Clip clop Clip clop


An Amish drive by...



A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Dec 2010   #587
Grimmy

Windows 7 Pro x64
 
 


There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.


Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Dec 2010   #588
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

I have heard these are pretty good. You may have the recipe already...Enjoy!

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

INGREDIENTS

1 cup water
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 (750 ml) bottle tequila, Jose Cuervo

Directions

1. Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

2. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality.

3. Pour one level cup and drink.

4. Turn on the electric mixer.

5. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

6. Add one peastoon of sugar

7. Beat again.

8. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still okay, try another cup just in case.

9. Turn off the mixerer thingy.

10. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

11. Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

12. Mix on the turner.

13. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose wit a drewscriver.

14. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

15. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

16. Two greeves cooky sheet thingies.

17. Check the Jose Cuervo.

18. Add one table.

19. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

20. Whatever you can find.

21. Greash the oven.

22. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

23. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

24. Finally, eat the cooky dowgh, empty the Hose Quervo. Make sure to put the bodtle in the stuve with the wishdasher.

25. Cherry Mistmas !

P.S.
I happened to be fresh out of Jose Cuervo, so I substituted Jack Daniels - - - worked just fine!!!!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Dec 2010   #589
xarden

Windows 7 Enterprise
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Hopalong X View Post
I have heard these are pretty good. You may have the recipe already...Enjoy!
BB has the recipe for the cake.
Delicious too.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Dec 2010   #590
profdlp

Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by xarden View Post
BB has the recipe for the cake.
Delicious too.
I'll shay itsh delishushush. I drink think I'll make shum more tomorrow..
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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