Jokes Thread 2

pebbly said:

...They all look at the Irishman expectantly, who goes red in the face. The Irishman takes his son's hand and says "This is feckin' embarrassing, c'mon Pancake, we're leaving!"

Maybe I'm just dense, but is this something that needs to be translated into American before I get the joke?

profdlp said:

pebbly said:

...They all look at the Irishman expectantly, who goes red in the face. The Irishman takes his son's hand and says "This is feckin' embarrassing, c'mon Pancake, we're leaving!"

Maybe I'm just dense, but is this something that needs to be translated into American before I get the joke?

This may explain it for you profdlp Shrove Tuesday - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia :)

pebbly said:

...This may explain it for you profdlp Shrove Tuesday - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia :)

Thanks - now it's safe for me to laugh.

In the United States, the term Shrove Tuesday is less widely known... Mardi Gras has become more familiar as the designation for that day.

I did know a guy named Marty once.

jfar said:

Did he smoke gras.

Judging from the way he acted, my guess would be that he did.

profdlp said:

jfar said:

Did he smoke gras.

Judging from the way he acted, my guess would be that he did.

And here's the proof.

Santa says to his elf, "im gettin pissed off with this. Every year i put this stupid red outfit on, do all the work and end up with f**k all"

The elf replies "now ya know how Steven Gearrard feels"

Steven Gearrard

He only plays soccer one day a year? Good job he has.

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?'

'My wife's.

''What happened to her?'

The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her'

He inquired further, 'But who is in the second hearse?'

The man answered, 'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.'

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

'Can I borrow the dog?'

The man replied, 'Get in line.'

Q. What ship never docks at Liverpool?


A. The Premiership.