Jokes Thread 2

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  1. Posts : 53,657
    Windows 10 Home x64
       #661

    A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

    He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

    A Guy
      My Computer


  2. Posts : 2,493
    Windows 7 64Bit
       #662

    A Guy said:
    A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

    He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

    A Guy
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 11,991
    Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
       #663

    A Guy said:
    A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

    He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

    A Guy
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 9,582
    Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
       #664

    A Guy said:
    A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

    He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

    A Guy
    I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

    Can you explain this?
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 2,493
    Windows 7 64Bit
       #665

    Dwarf said:
    A Guy said:
    A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

    He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

    A Guy
    I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

    Can you explain this?
    How fast are "It...all...happened...so...quickly".turtles ? As you know they arent fast...and the sloth said
      My Computer


  6. Posts : 2,493
    Windows 7 64Bit
       #666

    Dwarf said:
    A Guy said:
    A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

    He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

    A Guy
    I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

    Can you explain this?
    How fast are turtles ? As you know they arent fast...and the sloth said "It...all...happened...so...quickly"
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 11,991
    Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
       #667

    LOL!
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #668

    The husband leans over and asks his wife,
    "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?

    We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence
    and I made love to you."
    "Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
    "OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do
    it for old time's sake?"
    "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

    There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this,
    and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers
    having sex against a fence.I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
    ..............So he follows them.

    They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by
    walking sticks.Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

    The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
    As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

    Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen.
    This goes on for about ten minutes. Both are making loud noises and moaning
    and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

    The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and
    old age that he didn't know.
    After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple
    struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

    The policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing., and decides I've got to ask them what their secret is.
    As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something
    else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together.Is there some sort of secret to this?"


    The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 8,383
    Windows 10 Pro x64, Arch Linux
       #669

    pebbly said:
    The husband leans over and asks his wife,
    "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?

    We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence
    and I made love to you."
    "Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
    "OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do
    it for old time's sake?"
    "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

    There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this,
    and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers
    having sex against a fence.I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
    ..............So he follows them.

    They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by
    walking sticks.Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

    The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
    As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

    Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen.
    This goes on for about ten minutes. Both are making loud noises and moaning
    and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

    The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and
    old age that he didn't know.
    After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple
    struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

    The policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing., and decides I've got to ask them what their secret is.
    As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something
    else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together.Is there some sort of secret to this?"


    The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
      My Computer


  10. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #670

    lorddenis said:
    Dwarf said:
    A Guy said:
    A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

    He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

    A Guy
    I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

    Can you explain this?
    How fast are turtles ? As you know they arent fast...and the sloth said "It...all...happened...so...quickly"
    ...and the snails who were at the scene said "What fight?"...
      My Computer


 
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