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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

24 Dec 2010   #661
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #662
lorddenis

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #663
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

24 Dec 2010   #664
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

A Guy
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

Can you explain this?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #665
lorddenis

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

A Guy
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

Can you explain this?
How fast are "It...all...happened...so...quickly".turtles ? As you know they arent fast...and the sloth said
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #666
lorddenis

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

A Guy
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

Can you explain this?
How fast are turtles ? As you know they arent fast...and the sloth said "It...all...happened...so...quickly"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #667
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

LOL!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #668
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

The husband leans over and asks his wife,
"Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?

We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence
and I made love to you."
"Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do
it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this,
and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers
having sex against a fence.I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
..............So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by
walking sticks.Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about ten minutes. Both are making loud noises and moaning
and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and
old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple
struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing., and decides I've got to ask them what their secret is.
As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something
else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together.Is there some sort of secret to this?"


The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #669
yowanvista

Windows 10 Pro x64, Arch Linux
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
The husband leans over and asks his wife,
"Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?

We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence
and I made love to you."
"Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do
it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this,
and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers
having sex against a fence.I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
..............So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by
walking sticks.Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about ten minutes. Both are making loud noises and moaning
and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and
old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple
struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing., and decides I've got to ask them what their secret is.
As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something
else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together.Is there some sort of secret to this?"


The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Dec 2010   #670
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by lorddenis View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
A sloth is attacked by three tortoises. When the cops come, they ask the sloth if he can describe his assailants.

He replies, "It...all...happened...so...quickly".

A Guy
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit slow.

Can you explain this?
How fast are turtles ? As you know they arent fast...and the sloth said "It...all...happened...so...quickly"
...and the snails who were at the scene said "What fight?"...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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