Jokes Thread 2

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  1. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #831

    pebbly said:
    husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
    He is shown several possibilities that range from 250 to 500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price.
    Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the 500, and takes it home.
    He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

    Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea.
    It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing.
    I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

    She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

    The husband says, 'Good Grief!
    You'd think for 500, they'd at least iron it!'

    He never heard the shot.

    Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
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  2. Posts : 5,840
    Vista Ult64, Win7600
       #832

    Nice one Pebbly,
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  3. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #833

    We need GFX team to design a new "Naughty" badge for Kathryn
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  4. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #834

    Kari said:
    We need GFX team to design a new "Naughty" badge for Kathryn
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  5. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #835

    After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, English scientists found
    traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion
    that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years
    ago.

    Not to be outdone by the English, in the weeks that followed, a Scottish
    archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story
    published in the Glasgow Morning Herald read:

    "Scottish archaeologists, finding traces of 130-year-old copper wire, have
    concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech
    telecommunications network 30 years earlier than the English".

    One week later, the Irish Times, reported
    the following:

    "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture ,near Sligo,
    Paddy a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing at all
    . Paddy has therefore concluded that 130 years
    ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."
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  6. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #836

    pebbly said:
    husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
    He is shown several possibilities that range from 250 to 500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price.
    Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the 500, and takes it home.
    He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

    Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea.
    It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing.
    I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

    She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

    The husband says, 'Good Grief!
    You'd think for 500, they'd at least iron it!'

    He never heard the shot.

    Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
    Pebbly,
    You would think us men would get a clue about a woman's figure and age.
    Guess that's why in the obit section of the paper you see women outliving men.
    Most of the guy's died of lead poisoning...hehheheh
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  7. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #837

    pebbly said:
    Paddy has therefore concluded that 130 years
    ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."
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  8. Posts : 5,840
    Vista Ult64, Win7600
       #838

    A couple was invited to a swan.ky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
    He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
    So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.


    Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
    She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

    His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
    Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.

    So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
    Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

    She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
    - "Did you dance much?"

    - "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."
    Last edited by jfar; 18 Jan 2011 at 16:51.
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  9. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #839

    pebbly said:
    Kari said:
    We need GFX team to design a new "Naughty" badge for Kathryn

    You asked for it and you shall receive it.....
    Attachment 133080

    Wear it carefully!!!
    Last edited by The Howling Wolves; 29 Jan 2011 at 20:27.
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  10. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #840

    Very good THW ,well done
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