Jokes Thread 2

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  1. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #901

    DocBrown said:

    Hey Doc,

    When are the funeral services for this poor chap?
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  2. Posts : 11,991
    Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
       #902

    Doc, that is hilarious!!!
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  3. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #903

    CarlTR6 said:
    Doc, that is hilarious!!!


    LMAO Doc! :)
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  4. Posts : 208
    Windows 7 64 bit
       #904

    A pretty young gypsy girl knocked on my door last night and asked if I had any old clothing.

    "Yes," I said, "But what do I get in return?"

    "You can play with my breasts if you want" she offered.

    I thought that's fair...."tit for tat"
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  5. Posts : 748
    Windows 7 32 bit
       #905

    The black bra


    The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

    I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
    One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
    We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the doorwearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..
    Here's how it all went.
    My engaged friend :
    The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
    He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams.
    I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

    The mistress:

    Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels andmask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

    Then I had to share my story:

    When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
    When he came in the door and saw me he said,
    (You'll love this) ............................ scroll down





















    "What's for dinner, Zorro?"
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  6. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #906

    This was a nice gesture from the GB quarterback offering to pay for Cutler's new uniform!
    Attachment 134696

    Wanted to know if they had one with sequences on it!
    "LOSER'S"
    Last edited by The Howling Wolves; 29 Jan 2011 at 20:27.
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  7. Posts : 17,322
    Win 10 Pro x64
       #907

    The Howling Wolves said:
    This was a nice gesture from the GB quarterback offering to pay for Cutler's new uniform!
    Attachment 134696

    Wanted to know if they had one with sequences on it!
    "LOSER'S"

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  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #908

    The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
    Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'

    'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'
    'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'
    'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'
    'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... .doesn't matter, you're all alike.
    There's a few minutes of silence.
    'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.
    'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
    'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.
    'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'
    Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ....nomattah...all same!
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  9. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #909

    The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: "Just Released – New LP -Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make available now!"
    Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
    "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I’d very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."
    "Certainly, Sir", says the young man behind the counter. "If you’d like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I’ll put the LP on for you."
    The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those."
    "I’m sorry Sir", says the young assistant, "If you’d care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."
    The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don’t understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can’t recognise any of those!"
    "I’m terribly sorry, Sir", says the young man, "perhaps if you’d like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."
    Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."
    "I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant... ... ...

    "I’ve just realised I was playing you the bee side."
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  10. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #910

    Pebbly, Pebbly.
    Sigh!

    What are we going to do with you?
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