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Windows 7: Jokes Thread 2

28 Jan 2011   #921
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Such a young age Kari , keep the memories alive
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28 Jan 2011   #922
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: "Just Released – New LP -Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make available now!"
Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I’d very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."
"Certainly, Sir", says the young man behind the counter. "If you’d like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I’ll put the LP on for you."
The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those."
"I’m sorry Sir", says the young assistant, "If you’d care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don’t understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can’t recognise any of those!"
"I’m terribly sorry, Sir", says the young man, "perhaps if you’d like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."
Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."
"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant... ... ...

"I’ve just realised I was playing you the bee side."
GROAN!
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29 Jan 2011   #923
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot.

He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.

The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

A Guy
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.

29 Jan 2011   #924
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Nice one A Guy
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29 Jan 2011   #925
Robearl2x

Win7 Ultimate X64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot.

He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.

The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

A Guy

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29 Jan 2011   #926
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

THE GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain:
with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel:
has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice,takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada:
self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet:
wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran:

Ruled by Nuts
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29 Jan 2011   #927
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by pebbly View Post
THE GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain:
with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel:
has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice,takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada:
self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet:
wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran:

Ruled by Nuts

Attachment 135191
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29 Jan 2011   #928
pebbly

win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
 
 

Saved it THW for future use
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29 Jan 2011   #929
Hopalong X

Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
 
 

Good one Pebbly!
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29 Jan 2011   #930
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

How do crazy people get through the forest?

They take the psycho path.
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