Jokes Thread 2

BB....I think it's all of the ABOVE... lol ... that's a real goodie. !!!

BrightBlessings said:

Idle Thoughts.

LauraM said:

Bare Foot Kid said:

I guess one has to be from Bucharest.

Why, in California you do not have little bunnies?

I think in California, everybody thinks of Playboy Bunnies

Where are you in the line?


A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver,
and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.


The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the
ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then
apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils
so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."

"The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings ,
Montana , which is about 550 miles from here."


"Good grief, is that where the job is?"



No sir -- that's where the end of the line is right now

The Howling Wolves said:

Where are you in the line?


A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver,
and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.


The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the
ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then
apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils
so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."

"The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings ,
Montana , which is about 550 miles from here."


"Good grief, is that where the job is?"



No sir -- that's where the end of the line is right now

BrightBlessings said:

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him
My elbow hurts like hell.Iguess I'd better go see a doctor
Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, Mike replies
There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a
urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than
a doctor.

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample...He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:


"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,Joe began
to wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars,
pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints out the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping at Costco!

Funny thing about bunnies. My 2 year old son saw some Llamas this weekend at the circus and he kept calling them bunnies due to the ears and no matter what, he could not get past they looked like bunnies to him. It was very cute.