Jokes Thread 2


  1. Posts : 6,243
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #1601

    father was very anxious to marry off his daughter so he wanted tried impress her first date. "Do you like to screw?" he asks.
    "Huh?!" replied the surprised young man.
    "My daughter, she loves to screw and she's very good at it. You and she should go screw." carefully explained the father.
    Now very interested, the boy replied, "Yes, sir!" Minutes later the girl came down the stairs, kissed her father goodbye and the couple left.
    After only a few minutes she reappeared, furious, dress torn, hair a mess and screamed, "Dammit, Daddy, get it right, it's the TWIST!"
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  2. Posts : 14,606
    Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit 7600
       #1602

    Bloke goes to the doctors with a rash on his testicles
    the doctor sends him down the hall to the nurses room for treatment
    the nurse has him take down his pants and underware
    after a minute she says to him
    "your going to have to stop masturbating"
    "why " he says to the nurse
    " because im trying to examine you" she says
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  3. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #1603

    This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."
    The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!"
    To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind lady, I'll have to adjust the chair!"

    source: Hot Woman Jokes - page 2
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  4. Posts : 7,730
    Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
       #1604

    A little girl became very curious as to how the human race came into existence and one day she asked her mother: "Mummy, how did the human race start out?"

    Her mother replied: "Well, in the beginning God created Adam and Eve, and then they had children, and their children had children, and so on, and son, and here we are today."

    The little girl was not entirely satisfied with her mother's answer, so she decided to ask her father as well. "Daddy, do you know how humans came into existence?"

    Her father explained: "Well, we started out as monkeys. After a long time their bodies began to change shape and they began to lose their hair. Gradually, they became more like humans, and here we are today."

    The little girl was by now totally confused by the two different answers so she went back to her mother and said: "Daddy just said we came from monkeys. Do Adam and Eve fit anywhere in there?"

    Her mother quickly replied: "Oh, when I told you that we came from Adam and Eve, I was telling you where my side of the family came from."

    Source: Daily Mail
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  5. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1605

    Newfie Password

    The Bank of Montreal was running a recent Password Audit and found Stevie O'Toole from Conception Bay (Newfoundland) using the following password:

    MickeyDonaldMinnieGoofyDaffyBugsElmerPlutoOttawa

    When Stevie was asked why he had such a long password, he replied, 'Lard t'underin geesus! Are yez blind er' stupid?
    I wuz told me password had to be at least 8 characters long wit' one capital
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  6. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1606

    The Howling Wolves said:
    This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."
    The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!"
    To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind lady, I'll have to adjust the chair!"

    source: Hot Woman Jokes - page 2
    Dennis that's a good one !!!!...
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 6,349
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #1607

    "MoeLarryCurlyABCDEFGH"

    How about 3 characters and 8 Capitals.
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  8. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1608

    Mike that'll work also.... don't you mess up my joke... lol...
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  9. Posts : 6,349
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #1609

    That was a joke?

    I thought you were giving out passwords so I was trying to help.

      My Computer


  10. Posts : 4,549
    Windows 8 - 64-bit
       #1610

    Hopalong X said:
    That was a joke?

    I thought you were giving out passwords so I was trying to help.

    lol .....Sure it was a JOKE.. you didn't get ???... Thanks kindly for your help !!!...
      My Computer


 

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