Jokes Thread 2

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  1. Posts : 291
    Windows 3.11
       #1

    Jokes Thread 2


    This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! I will start first!

    A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."

    The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

    "Just rub toilet paper between them."

    Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"

    "I don't know, but it worked for your ass."



    Continuation of:


    Jokes Thread

    Last edited by Airbot; 24 Aug 2010 at 18:53.
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  2. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #2

    I noticed it was at 200+ pages and was expecting this.
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  3. Posts : 159
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64 bit
       #3

    From what i just read above...dirty jokes are allowed?
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  4. Posts : 18,408
    Windows 7 Ultimate x64 SP1
       #4

    Just keep the jokes as clean as you can. In other words, don't go out of your way to find and post obscene or insulting jokes. Thanks.
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  5. Posts : 1,491
    Win7 Pro-64 Bit
       #5

    LONDON LAWYER V GLASGOW COP

    A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
    He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
    Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.'
    London Lawyer says, 'What for?'
    Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'
    London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'
    Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.'
    London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
    Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!'
    London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
    Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'
    The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
    The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'
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  6. Posts : 11,991
    Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
       #6

    BrightBlessings said:
    LONDON LAWYER V GLASGOW COP

    A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
    He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
    Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.'
    London Lawyer says, 'What for?'
    Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'
    London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'
    Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.'
    London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
    Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!'
    London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
    Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'
    The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
    The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'
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  7. Posts : 966
    Windows 7 Enterprise
       #7

    I dont know whats funnier... the moral, or the accent
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  8. Posts : 346
    Windows 7 Pro X64
       #8

    Laughing
    The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.

    "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?"

    "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."
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  9. Posts : 1,491
    Win7 Pro-64 Bit
       #9

    Well, I lost the Trivia Contest during our church pot-luck dinner last night by 1 point!
    ... Not only did I get the last question wrong, but was immediately asked to leave.
    The question was: "Where do women have the curliest hair?"

    Apparently the correct answer is *Fiji Islands*
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  10. Posts : 256
    Win 7 ultimate x64 sp1
       #10

    as this is the beginning of a new thread, we must have a chicken joke:

    Q. why did the chicken kill itself?
    A. to get to the other side.
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