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Windows 7: Yesterday

24 Jul 2009   #341
Dinesh

Windows® 8 Pro (64-bit)
 
 

I went for another interview and as usual... rejected.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jul 2009   #342
Joan Archer

Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 32 bit/Windows 10 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by 96accord View Post
Everyone's quiet today...
Well Friday's my day for going into town for the morning so don't get chance to see the computer until the afternoon then it's not for long as there's a meal to prepare and eat plus when grandson comes over not able to get anything done. He's just over a year old so you can imagine the mayhem he can cause if you don't watch him
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jul 2009   #343
sergiogarcia9

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
Had a court date, as the Petitioner. The Respondent went on and on and on regarding how my request for redress was unjustified, unsubstantiated, unwarranted, unreasonable, unfathomable and on and on and on. The judge nodded politely from time to time and finally asked the Repondent if he had anything to say relevant to the case.

Winning is nice. An in your face slam dunk is nicer.
Are you a lawyer?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

24 Jul 2009   #344
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
No, but I come from a family full of 'em. I have been asked that question so many times :-)

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part,

.....

part, also known as "The Firm".
Your permission to translate this? I really would like to show this to somebody back home in Finland!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jul 2009   #345
sergiogarcia9

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
No, but I come from a family full of 'em. I have been asked that question so many times :-)

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyers", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counterclockwise direction, said direction being nonnegotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the nonnegotiable directional codicil (counterclockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this selfsame document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being nonnegotiable and only until the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb") becomes snug in the party of the third part (Receptacle) and in fact becomes the party of the second part (Light Bulb).

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jul 2009   #346
Tews

64-bit Windows 8.1 Pro
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
No, but I come from a family full of 'em. I have been asked that question so many times :-)

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyers", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counterclockwise direction, said direction being nonnegotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the nonnegotiable directional codicil (counterclockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this selfsame document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being nonnegotiable and only until the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb") becomes snug in the party of the third part (Receptacle) and in fact becomes the party of the second part (Light Bulb).

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".
Betcha a bag of Double Click Ad cookies you cant say that in one breath!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jul 2009   #347
mickey megabyte

ultimate 64 sp1
 
 



Antman, you crack me up - i would love to meet you to share a bottle of wine or two, and maybe smoke a dooby or ten...

if you're ever in south west england, send me a pm - i'm sure you would like my cats!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jul 2009   #348
JMH

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit. SP1.
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by mickey megabyte View Post


Antman, you crack me up - i would love to meet you to share a bottle of wine or two, and maybe smoke a dooby or ten...

if you're ever in south west england, send me a pm - i'm sure you would like my cats!
Be careful with that invitation.
I understand that fish & guests stink after 5 days. Anyone with a tad of laywer about them make that 5 hours, oops sorry 1 hour.
From one mere mortal surrounded by Barristers. [Barristers = further qualified specialist lawyers.The ones who make the money.]
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Jul 2009   #349
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 
Mystery known as a male brain

I still remember when I got my first car. No problems recalling the exact date I bought my first PC. I remember the telephone numbers and email addresses of my family, friends and coworkers.

But today my wife asked if I still remember when we first met. I didn´t. I know the answer now, after she told me today is the 10th anniversary of that day. Before telling me I´d better find a way to show I understand how insensitive it was to forget.

So I guess it is not going to be pool and bier with guys tonight, like planned. Dinner reservation for tonight is OK, but where do I find an anniversary present today? This is Germany, everything is closed on Sundays.

Have to find something. I´m still too young (and too much in love) to move into a separate bedroom!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Jul 2009   #350
mickey megabyte

ultimate 64 sp1
 
 

would she like a brand new iso burned onto a dvd?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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