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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

23 Jun 2010   #1301
elsuirad

Windows® 7 Home Basic 64bit, Build 7600
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ITChick View Post
that one made me laugh elsuirad! Here's one:

2 cannibals were munching on a clown
One cannibal says to the other one: Does this taste funny to you?
Hilarious!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1302
elsuirad

Windows® 7 Home Basic 64bit, Build 7600
 
 
Enlargement

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts.

Dr. Smith advised her, 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'

She did this faithfully for several months!

To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs! (See image001.gif)


One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood up in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies.'

A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, 'Excuse me, Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?'

'Yes I am... How did you know?' She replied.

He winked and replied, " Hickory dickory dock ..." (see image002.gif)


Oh.....ah...aaahhhhhh....aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..


Attached Images
Jokes Thread-image001.gif Jokes Thread-image002.gif 
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1303
ITChick

Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
 
 

What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?

If you weren't so fresh last night, we wouldn't be in this jam!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

23 Jun 2010   #1304
Luckystar

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 RTM + SP1
 
 

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown
emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment..

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says,
'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big bum and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'


Lucky
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1305
elsuirad

Windows® 7 Home Basic 64bit, Build 7600
 
 

DANG!... You should have a THIRD Wish.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1306
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1307
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
That just happens to be my cat's name!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1308
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
That just happens to be my cat's name!

Coming from East Bay everyone's name is KITTY!
Jokes Thread-embarassed.jpg

Just joking Derek!


My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1309
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
More of a thought then a joke but true nonetheless:

Why do we bother to name our cats when the only thing they respond to is "Kitty"?
That just happens to be my cat's name!

Coming from East Bay everyone's name is KITTY!
Attachment 80495

Just joking Derek!
That's alright Dennis, at least it's not bubba!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1310
johnwillyums

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
 
 

Do regular dogs think that poodles are into some kind of weird orthodox religion?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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