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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

23 Jun 2010   #1311
xarden

Windows 7 Enterprise
 
 

Two goldfish were in a tank.
One says to the other, "You take the gun and I'll drive."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
23 Jun 2010   #1312
ryo

 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Arc View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ryo View Post
watch out.....!!!!
Attachment 80393
Dont worry, ryo !!

All the roads approach to the God
but you have to watch it..if you don't look right and left..then you will..boammm...
accident.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2010   #1313
elsuirad

Windows® 7 Home Basic 64bit, Build 7600
 
 

There are 70 ways how to make a woman happy: Number one (1) is shopping the rest is 69.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

24 Jun 2010   #1314
kronckew

Win 7 ultimate x64 sp1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by johnwillyums View Post
Do regular dogs think that poodles are into some kind of weird orthodox religion?

Yes.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2010   #1315
Dark Nova Gamer

Windows 7 Ultimate, OS X 10.7, Ubuntu 11.04
 
 

Viewer Discretion Advised!






A guy was driving down the road in his car.

A prostitute walks out in front of him. He smacks her with the bumper
of his car and knocks her down.

He immediately stops the car, jumps out and runs to the lady lying
on her back on the road. She is groaning in pain. She mumbles,
"I think I'm blind, I think I'm blind..."

Quickly the guy holds three fingers up in front of her and says,

"How many fingers do I have up?"

"Oh my God," she says. "I'm paralyzed too!!!!!!!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2010   #1316
Tews

64-bit Windows 8.1 Pro
 
 
Dear Dad....

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,

'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings',
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that's on the kitchen table.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2010   #1317
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 
Web URLs that didn't come out right

Experts Exchange – a site where programmers can trade advice – is found at expertsexchange.com

La Drape – a British company selling high-end quilted bedspreads – is listed at ladrape.co.uk

American Scrap Metal – a scrap metal recycling firm – americanscrapmetal

Speed of Art – a collective or art designers – are online at speedofart.com

Therapist Finder – a directory for therapy services – can be located at therapistfinder.com

Pen Island's home page, penisland.net

Les Bocages, a British firm of tree surgeons working in France who are named after the French word for "groves" but also have the unfortunate web moniker lesbocages.com.

Big Al's bowling alley in Vancouver ended up with Ilovebigals.com
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2010   #1318
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Experts Exchange – a site where programmers can trade advice – is found at expertsexchange.com

La Drape – a British company selling high-end quilted bedspreads – is listed at ladrape.co.uk

American Scrap Metal – a scrap metal recycling firm – americanscrapmetal

Speed of Art – a collective or art designers – are online at speedofart.com

Therapist Finder – a directory for therapy services – can be located at therapistfinder.com

Pen Island's home page, penisland.net

Les Bocages, a British firm of tree surgeons working in France who are named after the French word for "groves" but also have the unfortunate web moniker lesbocages.com.

Big Al's bowling alley in Vancouver ended up with Ilovebigals.com


My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2010   #1319
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Experts Exchange – a site where programmers can trade advice – is found at expertsexchange.com

La Drape – a British company selling high-end quilted bedspreads – is listed at ladrape.co.uk

American Scrap Metal – a scrap metal recycling firm – americanscrapmetal

Speed of Art – a collective or art designers – are online at speedofart.com

Therapist Finder – a directory for therapy services – can be located at therapistfinder.com

Pen Island's home page, penisland.net

Les Bocages, a British firm of tree surgeons working in France who are named after the French word for "groves" but also have the unfortunate web moniker lesbocages.com.

Big Al's bowling alley in Vancouver ended up with Ilovebigals.com
My System SpecsSystem Spec
24 Jun 2010   #1320
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Tews View Post
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,

'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings',
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that's on the kitchen table.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

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