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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

29 Jun 2010   #1361
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

Cow, an Ant and a Computer Geek


A Cow, an Ant and a Computer Geek are debating on who
is the greatest of the three of them.



The Cow: "I give 50 litres of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!!"



The Ant: "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!!"





























Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something...



My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jun 2010   #1362
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by DocBrown View Post
Cow, an Ant and a Computer Geek


A Cow, an Ant and a Computer Geek are debating on who
is the greatest of the three of them.



The Cow: "I give 50 litres of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!!"



The Ant: "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!!"





























Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something...




Oh crap!
I scrolled down.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jun 2010   #1363
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Sucked me in!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

29 Jun 2010   #1364
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by CarlTR6 View Post
Sucked me in!
Me too!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jun 2010   #1365
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.


Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.



EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jun 2010   #1366
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

*snipped for space, in order to not be one of these people*
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jun 2010   #1367
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

lol noob.. you would have to see it first.. I thought it was too funny to not share.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
29 Jun 2010   #1368
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
lol noob.. you would have to see it first.. I thought it was too funny to not share.
It is very funny!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jun 2010   #1369
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND


EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jun 2010   #1370
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 
Groaner

Did you hear about the flasher who thought about retiring?

He decided to stick it out for another year.....

My System SpecsSystem Spec
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