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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

02 Jul 2010   #1391
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by noobvious View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
This is the first warning I have seen for men.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's or Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 7th, 9th, 10th, 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also June 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, twice already today and very likely again this upcoming 4th of July weekend.
Sounds like a reason to pick up a couple spare wallets!
Wal Mart has a sale on them......
I bought 15 more!
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02 Jul 2010   #1392
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

Boy some of the stuff you can buy on Amazon these days!

For all you audiophiles: Amazon.com: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: Electronics

Read the Review comments for it!!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jul 2010   #1393
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Boy some of the stuff you can buy on Amazon these days!

For all you audiophiles: Amazon.com: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: Electronics

Read the Review comments for it!!!
Priceless!
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.

02 Jul 2010   #1394
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 
What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:

What doctors say, and what they're really thinking:

"This should be taken care of right away."
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

"Welllllll, what have we here...?"
I have no idea and I'm hoping you'll give me a clue.

"Let me check your medical history."
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.

"We have some good news and some bad news."
The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

"Let me schedule you for some tests."
I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

"This may smart a little."
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

"This should fix you up."
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

"I'd like to run some more tests."
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

"There is a lot of that going around."
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jul 2010   #1395
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Boy some of the stuff you can buy on Amazon these days!

For all you audiophiles: Amazon.com: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: Electronics

Read the Review comments for it!!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jul 2010   #1396
mickey megabyte

ultimate 64 sp1
 
 

yep, excellent amazon page!


Attached Images
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02 Jul 2010   #1397
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

I thought it was A BIT PRICEY.....lol
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02 Jul 2010   #1398
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess... “Will you marry me?”

The Princess said “NO!”

And the Prince rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted, and lived happily ever after.

The End


lived happily ever after Alone. which is great if you can do that.
I find no fun in living alone.. it's not for me.. yet that's what I'm doing.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jul 2010   #1399
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess... “Will you marry me?”

The Princess said “NO!”

And the Prince rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted, and lived happily ever after.

The End


lived happily ever after Alone. which is great if you can do that.
I find no fun in living alone.. it's not for me.. yet that's what I'm doing.
LPt!
You are not alone.
We all are here with you, for you, and will help you.
Yes, you may live by yourself, but we are just a click away from you.

ps. I love you Patriotic Sig.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Jul 2010   #1400
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
I find no fun in living alone.. it's not for me.. yet that's what I'm doing.
I agree, LPT; I did not like living alone.
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