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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

18 Jul 2010   #1541
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

Subject: PRICELESS!!!


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> If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
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> Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
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> On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
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> A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?"
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> The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
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> Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"








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> From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's Pizza."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Jul 2010   #1542
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 
 

Biggest tip he ever got!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Jul 2010   #1543
WindowsStar

Windows 7 Enterprise (x64); Windows Server 2008 R2 (x64)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by DocBrown View Post
Subject: PRICELESS!!!


>
>
> If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
>
>
>
>
>
> Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
>
>
>
> On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
>
>
>
> A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?"
>
>
>
> The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
>
>
>
> Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"








>
>
> From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's Pizza."
Sounds just like my boss, he has done stuff just like that 5 times since I have known him. Once in front of a whole room of managers he did something like the above. He was so mad after the meeting because he made himself look sooooo stupid.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

18 Jul 2010   #1544
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

This will bring a tear to your eye....

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director
to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or
friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky
back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and,
being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone
and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew
left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for
being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault
lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to
play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.
I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I
played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played
'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep.They wept, I wept, we all wept
together.


When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my
head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never
seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for
twenty years."

Apparently I'm still lost..
My System SpecsSystem Spec
18 Jul 2010   #1545
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Joan Archer View Post
That is one smart guy
Joan we can't let these guys get away with all the crazy jokes they keep telling about us girls.!!!!!..lol
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Jul 2010   #1546
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

yipes


Attached Images
Jokes Thread-bc.jpg 
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Jul 2010   #1547
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Which one is the DUMMY!
Jokes Thread-dummy.jpg


My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Jul 2010   #1548
Dom

Windows Seven Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Which one is the DUMMY!
Attachment 86262
2nd one

My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Jul 2010   #1549
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LilDomii View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Which one is the DUMMY!
Attachment 86262
2nd one

You win the prize!
The paper's are ready to send him to your country.
No refunds or return tickets will be granted.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Jul 2010   #1550
Dom

Windows Seven Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LilDomii View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Which one is the DUMMY!
Attachment 86262
2nd one

You win the prize!
The paper's are ready to send him to your country.
No refunds or return tickets will be granted.
On seconds thoughts... I pick the first one...
What kinda prize is that!? He'll just bring sadness to Britain! Like it ain't sad enough already...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

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