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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

01 Oct 2009   #151
wallyinnc

Windows 7 x64 finally!
 
 

They do deserve a break once in a while
My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Oct 2009   #152
masterB

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by wallyinnc View Post
They do deserve a break once in a while
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Oct 2009   #153
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year,

And every year Morris would say,

'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'

Esther always replied,

'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars,

And fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,

'Esther, I'm 85 years old.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance..'


To this, Esther replied,

'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'


The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny

But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'


Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word.


When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't...

I'm impressed'


Morris replied,

'Well, to tell you the truth,

I almost said something when Esther fell out,

But you know,

fifty dollars is fifty dollars'


Attached Images
Jokes Thread-morris-esther.jpg 
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02 Oct 2009   #154
Antman

 

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02 Oct 2009   #155
whs
Microsoft MVP

Vista, Windows7, Mint Mate, Zorin, Windows 8
 
 

Here are a couple of redneck jokes I just heard (I hope nobody is offended):

Q: Why are redneck murders never solved?
A: Because the DNA is all the same and they have no dental records

or

A rich redneck dies. His widow wants to collect the estate - problem is, she has to wait until she is 14.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Oct 2009   #156
Antman

 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Oct 2009   #157
whs
Microsoft MVP

Vista, Windows7, Mint Mate, Zorin, Windows 8
 
 

Very nice Antman. I am a big Country and Blue Grass fan.
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02 Oct 2009   #158
wallyinnc

Windows 7 x64 finally!
 
 

Newlywed couple gets home from honeymoon. When they are entering their new lovenest, the husband says: “well, now it is a good time for us to get some ground rules established”
“On Mondays and Wednesdays it is game night with my friends”
“Tuesdays nights are poker nights. Thursday we go out for a good cigar”
“On Fridays we vary, but it is usually happy hour until late in the evening. OK?”
“OK”, she said, “but here at home I will have sex every night, you being here or not”
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02 Oct 2009   #159
QuackPot

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 

A man walks into a bar.




Ouch!











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02 Oct 2009   #160
masterB

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 
About blondes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!



Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.



Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.



Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."



Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?



Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.



Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.



Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.



Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.



Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave



Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.



Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?



Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.



Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.



Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.



Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
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