Windows 7 Forums
Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread

26 Jul 2010   #1611
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by A Guy View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by LADYPINKtomato1 View Post
It's NOT how I had our baby... mine was the old fashion way.
You didn't name her Tootie (2D) did you?

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
26 Jul 2010   #1612
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by noobvious View Post
So apparently not everyone is seeing the same thing from that link, so instead, I am going to post a snip of the image that came up.
Things that make me wonder about: Woman gets pregnant by watching 3d movie

>The lady may have been soo messed up on alcohol/drugs/whatnot/everything at once, that perhaps she THOUGHT she was watching a 3d movie. Either way, it's scary having a wife/girlfriend that far removed from reality.

>That the husband, who might be in denial/shock/hugely amused, agreed with her explanation.

>That the lady could not come up with anything better then that. Hell....an explanation of "I was beamed on board a UFO & inseminated by one eyed martians" would sound more plausible then that one.

>Since technology has apparently progressed faster then anyone could imagine, from now on while watching a 3D porn movie, anyone sitting in front of the screen will need to be sure to use birth control.

>With that explanation given by the woman, the possibility surely exists that if a guy does slip up and forgets to wear birth control, one of the "actresses" could show up at your door with a kid saying "You didn't wear a condom while watching!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
27 Jul 2010   #1613
A Guy

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
 
 

Three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged and one newlywed, all wanted to join their local church.

The Pastor said to them, "We have special requirements for new members. To be accepted, you must abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couples all agreed to the terms and came back at the end of the two weeks.

The Pastor turned to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the congregation!" said the Pastor.

The Pastor then asked the middle-aged couple, "Were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

The man replied, "Well, the first week wasn't too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights; but yes, we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the congregation!" said the Pastor.

The Pastor then turned to the newlywed couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

"The newlyweds had their heads down, no Pastor, we weren't able to go without sex for the entire two weeks," the young man replied sadly.

"What happened?" inquired the Pastor.

"Well, six days into the two weeks, my wife bent over to get some fruit. When she bent over to pick it up, I was suddenly overcome with lust and I took advantage of her right there and then."

"You do understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our congregation," stated the Pastor.

"We know that Pastor," said the young man, grimly. "We're no longer welcome at the supermarket either."

A Guy
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

27 Jul 2010   #1614
steve-pressman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
 
 

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal." "That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."

"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"


"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
27 Jul 2010   #1615
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 
Why men should not babysit #2

Very creative actually....I need to remember some of these


Attached Images
Jokes Thread-image016.jpg 
My System SpecsSystem Spec
27 Jul 2010   #1616
ryo

 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Very creative actually....I need to remember some of these
creative...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
27 Jul 2010   #1617
Arc

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Insider Preview 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ryo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Very creative actually....I need to remember some of these
creative...
So destructive then
My System SpecsSystem Spec
27 Jul 2010   #1618
Kirsch

Windows 7 Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Arc View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ryo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
Very creative actually....I need to remember some of these
creative...
So destructive then
I'd go with lazy lol
My System SpecsSystem Spec
27 Jul 2010   #1619
Tews

64-bit Windows 8.1 Pro
 
 

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "...or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"...or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I didn't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
27 Jul 2010   #1620
Jonathan_King

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Tews View Post
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "...or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"...or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I didn't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Good one Tom.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread [3]
:note: continued from - https://www.sevenforums.com/chillout-room/106614-jokes-thread-2 ****** 22 ADULT TRUTHS ****** 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you...
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:34.
Twitter Facebook Google+ Seven Forums iOS App Seven Forums Android App