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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

03 Oct 2009   #161
dw96

Windows 7 Home Premium [64-Bit]
 
 

Edit: Removed. Come to think of it I might get banned for that type of thing...
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05 Oct 2009   #162
pacinitaly

windows 7 professional & ultimate 64bit laptops
 
 

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KYQj0-Is98"]YouTube - The Muppets Band: Devil went down to jamaica[/ame]
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08 Oct 2009   #163
Perrybucsdad

Win 7 Ultimate x64 & x86
 
 

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of
the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store
just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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.

08 Oct 2009   #164
Antman

 

What kind of woman has no *sshole?
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08 Oct 2009   #165
wallyinnc

Windows 7 x64 finally!
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
What kind of woman has no *sshole?
Single women?
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08 Oct 2009   #166
Antman

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by wallyinnc View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
What kind of woman has no *sshole?
Single women?
Divorced.


Close enough.

Why do doctors slap babies on the bottom when they are born?
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08 Oct 2009   #167
wallyinnc

Windows 7 x64 finally!
 
 

465?
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16 Oct 2009   #168
johnwillyums

Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
 
 

I can't wait much longer Ant.
Why do doctors slap babies on the bottom when they are born? I can think of several reasons but doctors often have their own agendas.
Also a joke that may well be too sick to post:-

What's pink and stiff and scares women?
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17 Oct 2009   #169
TheSchaft

Windows 7 x64 HP, Windows 7 HP, Windows 7 Ult
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
Why do doctors slap babies on the bottom when they are born?
Knock the, ahem, "external hydraulics" off the dumb ones?
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17 Oct 2009   #170
Perrybucsdad

Win 7 Ultimate x64 & x86
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by johnwillyums View Post

What's pink and stiff and scares women?
An enema hose?
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