Jokes Thread

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  1. Posts : 367
    Windows 7 Home Premium [64-Bit]
       #161

    Edit: Removed. Come to think of it I might get banned for that type of thing...
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  2. Posts : 1,113
    windows 7 professional & ultimate 64bit laptops
       #162

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KYQj0-Is98"]YouTube - The Muppets Band: Devil went down to jamaica[/ame]
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  3. Posts : 120
    Win 7 Ultimate x64 & x86
       #163

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman
    may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
    description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of
    the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
    choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next
    floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
    the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

    'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
    Help With Housework.

    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
    Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign
    reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
    this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
    please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    PLEASE NOTE:
    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store
    just across the street.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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  4. Posts : 4,573
       #164

    What kind of woman has no *sshole?
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  5. Posts : 1,607
    Windows 7 x64 finally!
       #165

    Antman said:
    What kind of woman has no *sshole?
    Single women?
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  6. Posts : 4,573
       #166

    wallyinnc said:
    Antman said:
    What kind of woman has no *sshole?
    Single women?
    Divorced.


    Close enough.

    Why do doctors slap babies on the bottom when they are born?
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  7. Posts : 1,607
    Windows 7 x64 finally!
       #167

    465?
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  8. Posts : 4,663
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
       #168

    I can't wait much longer Ant.
    Why do doctors slap babies on the bottom when they are born? I can think of several reasons but doctors often have their own agendas.
    Also a joke that may well be too sick to post:-

    What's pink and stiff and scares women?
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  9. Posts : 833
    Windows 7 x64 HP, Windows 7 HP, Windows 7 Ult
       #169

    Antman said:
    Why do doctors slap babies on the bottom when they are born?
    Knock the, ahem, "external hydraulics" off the dumb ones?
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  10. Posts : 120
    Win 7 Ultimate x64 & x86
       #170

    johnwillyums said:

    What's pink and stiff and scares women?
    An enema hose?
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