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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

30 Jul 2010   #1691
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 



That's a good one.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1692
MattRainier

7 Ultimate x64, Vista Ultimate x64, 7 Pro x64, XP Pro x86, Linux Mint Nadia Cinnamon
 
 

Quote:
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
My sisters like to listen to this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEr01...os=azZevtRtRY0
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1693
Petey7

Windows 7 Professional SP1 64-bit
 
 

Not a joke per se, but notalwaysright.com pleases me again.
Jokes Thread-sti.png


My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

30 Jul 2010   #1694
Dom

Windows Seven Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by steve-pressman View Post
This might appeal to our British members more although funny it really needs a good understanding of British humour to appreciate it.



hold your plums:wasy question about left hand drive


Steve
I probably don't have as much experience in England as you do, but that was so funny!
Me and my dad cannot stop laughing!

Is it me, or do the guys sound like Ant and Dec?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1695
mitchell65

Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit 7601 Multiprocessor Free Service Pack 1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by steve-pressman View Post
This might appeal to our British members more although funny it really needs a good understanding of British humour to appreciate it.



hold your plums:wasy question about left hand drive


Steve
Total Magic Steve
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1696
steve-pressman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dom View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by steve-pressman View Post
This might appeal to our British members more although funny it really needs a good understanding of British humour to appreciate it.



hold your plums:wasy question about left hand drive


Steve
I probably don't have as much experience in England as you do, but that was so funny!
Me and my dad cannot stop laughing!






Steve
Is it me, or do the guys sound like Ant and Dec?


No Dom this woman was from Liverpool and and Ant & Dec are from Newcastle totally different accents



Steve
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1697
Dom

Windows Seven Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by steve-pressman View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dom View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by steve-pressman View Post
This might appeal to our British members more although funny it really needs a good understanding of British humour to appreciate it.



hold your plums:wasy question about left hand drive


Steve
I probably don't have as much experience in England as you do, but that was so funny!
Me and my dad cannot stop laughing!






Steve
Is it me, or do the guys sound like Ant and Dec?


No Dom this woman was from Liverpool and and Ant & Dec are from Newcastle totally different accents



Steve
Ah...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1698
whs
Microsoft MVP

Vista, Windows7, Mint Mate, Zorin, Windows 8
 
 

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."



2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."



3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."



4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."



5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)



6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE)



7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"



8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."



9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"



10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."



11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."



12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )



13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"



14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."



15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."



AND THE WINNER IS....



16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1699
Petey7

Windows 7 Professional SP1 64-bit
 
 

Those are awesome WHS. I actually know someone who had heard no. 8 from a cop before.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jul 2010   #1700
Joan Archer

Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by steve-pressman View Post
This might appeal to our British members more although funny it really needs a good understanding of British humour to appreciate it.



hold your plums:wasy question about left hand drive


Steve
That was hilarious Steve thanks for the link.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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