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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

02 Aug 2010   #1721
Nahtimu

Windows 7 Professional 64Bit
 
 

I would be surprised if any politician ever comes out clean...
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02 Aug 2010   #1722
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

It just goes to show that the world over, politicians are basically the same. That is, squeakily unclean.

New Synonym: Politics = Corruption
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Aug 2010   #1723
Darician

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 SP1
 
 

A dishonest and corrupt politician? No way, I don't believe it!
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.

02 Aug 2010   #1724
steve-pressman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
 
 

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


"Only when he's been drinking.!"
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02 Aug 2010   #1725
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

There's a lesson here....always keep track of who's on your lists and who you add!

Oh and...adding your boss might not be such a good idea after all....


Attached Images
Jokes Thread-oopsy.jpg 
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02 Aug 2010   #1726
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post
It just goes to show that the world over, politicians are basically the same. That is, squeakily unclean.

New Synonym: Politics = Corruption
There is no doubt about that.

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
There's a lesson here....always keep track of who's on your lists and who you add!

Oh and...adding your boss might not be such a good idea after all....
My System SpecsSystem Spec
02 Aug 2010   #1727
WindowsStar

Windows 7 Enterprise (x64); Windows Server 2008 R2 (x64)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
There's a lesson here....always keep track of who's on your lists and who you add!

Oh and...adding your boss might not be such a good idea after all....
My System SpecsSystem Spec
03 Aug 2010   #1728
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 

I got us a new doormat ... my wife doesn't think it's funny


Attached Images
Jokes Thread-image0011.jpg 
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03 Aug 2010   #1729
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Found these welcome mats:
Attachment 89157

Attachment 89158

I hardly have anyone knocking at my door now!
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03 Aug 2010   #1730
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
I got us a new doormat ... my wife doesn't think it's funny
I love it! You wife has no sense of humor. :y114:
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