Windows 7 Forums
Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread

04 Aug 2010   #1751
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

[QUOTE=bjrichus;880320]
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Capt.Jack Sparrow View Post
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."
{/QUOTE]

Yup... That's my situation... I'm my wife's SECOND husband...


A lot of us can relate to that !
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1752
WindowsStar

Windows 7 Enterprise (x64); Windows Server 2008 R2 (x64)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Joan Archer View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by WindowsStar View Post
Neither does mine: We were on vacation (holiday) and she wanted to go to a mall; I did not want to go and I asked why we would go to the Mall on vacation???. She said that she needed something from a store that our stores do not carry. Needless to say we went to the mall. While at the Mall I was wandering around and found a kiosk that made one-off bumper stickers. I figured why not, I asked the guy if he could make up 10, he said yes and I was off. When we got home I put one on her car and mine. The bumper sticker reads:

“Sleep with a computer technician and stay virus free”

I love the play on words. She was NOT happy and I had to remove the bumper stickers. UGH!
I think my daughter would appreciate that one as she's married to one.
Great point, wait isn't my wife married to one as well?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1753
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

[QUOTE=bjrichus;880320]
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Capt.Jack Sparrow View Post
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."
{/QUOTE]

Yup... That's my situation... I'm my wife's SECOND husband...


That reminds me of what I told the last lady that asked if I was married ...

I told her, I've been divorced 3 times, would you like to be number 4?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

04 Aug 2010   #1754
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by bjrichus View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Capt.Jack Sparrow View Post
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."
Yup... That's my situation... I'm my wife's SECOND husband...


That reminds me of what I told the last lady that asked if I was married ...

I told her, I've been divorced 3 times, would you like to be number 4?
that doesn't sound like a good thing to say at a job interview. btw. did you get that job?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1755
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Thorsen View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by bjrichus View Post

Yup... That's my situation... I'm my wife's SECOND husband...


That reminds me of what I told the last lady that asked if I was married ...

I told her, I've been divorced 3 times, would you like to be number 4?
that doesn't sound like a good thing to say at a job interview. btw. did you get that job?
Job interview?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1756
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

[QUOTE=Bare Foot Kid;880489]
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by bjrichus View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Capt.Jack Sparrow View Post
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."
{/QUOTE]

Yup... That's my situation... I'm my wife's SECOND husband...


That reminds me of what I told the last lady that asked if I was married ...

I told her, I've been divorced 3 times, would you like to be number 4?
You don't go by the name of Henry as well, do you Ted?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1757
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

> The Polish Divorce:
>
>
> A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
>
> Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.
>
> One day he rushed into a lawyer's office
>
> and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
>
> The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
>
> and asked him the following questions:
>
>
> Have you any grounds?
>
> Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
>
>
> No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
>
> It made of concrete.
>
>
> I don't think you understand.
>
> Does either of you have a real grudge?
>
> No, we have carport, and not need one.
>
>
> I mean what are your relations like?
>
> All my relations still in Poland ...
>
>
> Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
>
> We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
>
>
> Does your wife beat you up?
>
> No, I always up before her.
>
>
> Is your wife a nagger?
>
> No, she white.
>
>
> Why do you want this divorce?
>
> She going to kill me.
>
>
> What makes you think that?
>
> I got proof.
>
>
> What kind of proof?
>
> SHE IS GOING TO POISON ME !!!!
> She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
> I can read English pretty good, and it say:


> Polish Remover
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1758
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
> The Polish Divorce....


> Polish Remover
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1759
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

An old one, but still funny.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1760
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post




Job interview?
A 'trade for services rendered' by any other name is still a job!

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post






You don't go by the name of Henry as well, do you Ted?
Sometimes I like to be called Henry the Eight.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread [3]
:note: continued from - https://www.sevenforums.com/chillout-room/106614-jokes-thread-2 ****** 22 ADULT TRUTHS ****** 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you...
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 15:16.
Twitter Facebook Google+ Seven Forums iOS App Seven Forums Android App