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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

04 Aug 2010   #1761
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Dwarf View Post
You don't go by the name of Henry as well, do you Ted?
Sometimes I like to be called Henry the Eight.
My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen. We are honoured by the presence of Royalty, namely King Henry VIII.

Jokes Thread-imagescaohg0b0.jpg


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04 Aug 2010   #1762
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post




Job interview?
A 'trade for services rendered' by any other name is still a job!
I guess I'm the one missing something here.
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04 Aug 2010   #1763
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post




Job interview?
A 'trade for services rendered' by any other name is still a job!
I guess I'm the one missing something here.
Hello Derek.


When one of them says to you "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" it's your money they want to see.
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.

04 Aug 2010   #1764
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post

A 'trade for services rendered' by any other name is still a job!
I guess I'm the one missing something here.
Hello Derek.


When one of them says to you "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" it's your money they want to see.
Hi Ted,

I can follow most of that, I was wondering where job interview fit in, I didn't see it in your original post.
No big deal, if it has to be explained it must be way over my head and lost all the humor by now.
I appreciate you trying, I'm S.O.S.
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04 Aug 2010   #1765
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post

I guess I'm the one missing something here.
Hello Derek.


When one of them says to you "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" it's your money they want to see.
Hi Ted,

I can follow most of that, I was wondering where job interview fit in, I didn't see it in your original post.
No big deal, if it has to be explained it must be way over my head and lost all the humor by now.
I appreciate you trying, I'm S.O.S.
"I appreciate you trying, I'm S.O.S"......Glad you said that it just removed all doubt about you!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1766
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Hello Derek.


When one of them says to you "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" it's your money they want to see.
Hi Ted,

I can follow most of that, I was wondering where job interview fit in, I didn't see it in your original post.
No big deal, if it has to be explained it must be way over my head and lost all the humor by now.
I appreciate you trying, I'm S.O.S.
"I appreciate you trying, I'm S.O.S"......Glad you said that it just removed all doubt about you!
No doubt about it!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
04 Aug 2010   #1767
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by WindowsStar View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by CarlTR6 View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
I got us a new doormat ... my wife doesn't think it's funny
I love it! You wife has no sense of humor. :y114:
Neither does mine: We were on vacation (holiday) and she wanted to go to a mall; I did not want to go and I asked why we would go to the Mall on vacation???. She said that she needed something from a store that our stores do not carry. Needless to say we went to the mall. While at the Mall I was wandering around and found a kiosk that made one-off bumper stickers. I figured why not, I asked the guy if he could make up 10, he said yes and I was off. When we got home I put one on her car and mine. The bumper sticker reads:

“Sleep with a computer technician and stay virus free”

I love the play on words. She was NOT happy and I had to remove the bumper stickers. UGH!
I liked your JOKE !!!!..
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04 Aug 2010   #1768
LADYPINKtomato1

Windows 8 - 64-bit
 
 

~~Whale Of A Story ~~

Recently, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the
window of a gym.

It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of
the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the
gym:

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans). They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby
whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with
shrimp.

They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia,
the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are
incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.
They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world...

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the
offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis: Fish or human? They don't
have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention
how could they have sex? Just look at them ...where is IT?

Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get
close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only
skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my
kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate
with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much
information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it
distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are
enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good
grief! Look how smart I am!"
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04 Aug 2010   #1769
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

That's great LPt!
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04 Aug 2010   #1770
BugMeister

Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
 
 

did you hear the one about the dyslexic who walked into a bra..
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