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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

10 Aug 2010   #1831
xarden

Windows 7 Enterprise
 
 

So where can I go to get more floppy disks? Mines full and I need some more...
Jokes Thread-downloadinternet.gif
(click to view)


My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Aug 2010   #1832
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by xarden View Post
So where can I go to get more floppy disks? Mines full and I need some more...
Attachment 90573
(click to view)




Hello xarden, that's a good one.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
10 Aug 2010   #1833
PooMan UK

Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit
 
 

The new iPhone


Attached Thumbnails
Jokes Thread-iphone.png  
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10 Aug 2010   #1834
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by PooMan UK View Post
The new iPhone
Hey Nick,
That's the new phone they are trying to smuggle into California's prisons.
The women bring them in saying they are ear rings.
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10 Aug 2010   #1835
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by xarden View Post
So where can I go to get more floppy disks? Mines full and I need some more...
Attachment 90573
(click to view)
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Aug 2010   #1836
gladson1976

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx
 
 

From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:

Infinite Loop: n., see Loop, Infinite.
Loop, Infinite: n., see Infinite Loop.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Aug 2010   #1837
steve-pressman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
 
 

AVIATION RULES AND REMINDERS

* Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.

* If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. Unless you keep pulling the stick back...then they get bigger again.

* Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

* The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

* The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

* Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

* The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

* A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down -- all of them trying to become random in motion. Helicopters can't really fly -- they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.

* Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

* There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

* The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as co-pilot is a co-pilot who once was a captain.

* It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.

* A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.

* Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

* Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fire hydrant what it thinks about dogs.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Aug 2010   #1838
Borg 386

Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
 
 
Woman Claims Dell Tech in India Stole Her Nude Photos, Ripped Her Off

"Sometimes, truth is stranger then fiction"

It's every woman's worst nightmare: not being able to find your nude self-portraits.

Tara Fitzgerald of Sacramento, Calif., says a Dell representative in a call center located in India snatched the photos from her laptop and then charged hundreds of dollars in purchases on her credit card.

The bizarre scenario began, according to Fitzgerald, way back in December of 2008, when the mother of a 14-year-old understandably feared her daughter would come across the nude photos. Unfortunately, she couldn't find and move them herself.

She called a Dell tech-support line and spoke with Riyaz Shaikh, who found the photos remotely and then allegedly exported them to a website he set up for the purpose of hosting the snaps.

Fitzgerald told the local news that once he had compromised her in this way, there was nothing stopping him from using her credit card to purchase a string of gifts for an Internet lover in Tennessee.

But even the ABC affiliate who interviewed her could not explain what possessed her to actually mail Shaikh her computer so he could inspect it personally for any problems.

"I sent it anyways because I really believed in this guy," she told KGO-TV. "I really had faith that he was protecting my dignity." He certainly was not, it seems, and now Fitzgerald is negotiating a deal with Dell over her humiliation and the $800 worth of computer equipment Shaikh's paramour received.

We should also note this is not even close to the first such case of a computer technician allegedly helping himself to a customer's nude photos. In June 2007, The Consumerist set up a sting in which the site planted sexy photos on an undercover model's "broken" desktop and waited for Geek Squad employees to help themselves to her pics.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Aug 2010   #1839
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by gladson1976 View Post
From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:

Infinite Loop: n., see Loop, Infinite.
Loop, Infinite: n., see Infinite Loop.


Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by steve-pressman View Post
AVIATION RULES AND REMINDERS

* Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory...
Excellent - and true.

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
"Sometimes, truth is stranger then fiction"

It's every woman's worst nightmare: not being able to find your nude self-portraits...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Aug 2010   #1840
Dom

Windows Seven Ultimate
 
 

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling that it brings
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