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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

17 Aug 2010   #1911
gladson1976

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx
 
 

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day.
He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn’t give the sermon.
The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.
The pastor drove to a golf course about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted.
As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, an angel leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, “Are You going to let him get away with this?”
God told the angel not to worry, he would handle it.
Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic.
The angel asked God, “Why would you let him do that?”
God said, “Because, he can never tell anyone about this great shot he just made. Now THAT is living hell!!”
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2010   #1912
Jonathan_King

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by gladson1976 View Post
A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day.
He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn’t give the sermon.
The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.
The pastor drove to a golf course about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted.
As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, an angel leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, “Are You going to let him get away with this?”
God told the angel not to worry, he would handle it.
Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic.
The angel asked God, “Why would you let him do that?”
God said, “Because, he can never tell anyone about this great shot he just made. Now THAT is living hell!!”
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2010   #1913
steve-pressman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by gladson1976 View Post
A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day.
He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn’t give the sermon.
The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.
The pastor drove to a golf course about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted.
As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, an angel leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, “Are You going to let him get away with this?”
God told the angel not to worry, he would handle it.
Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic.
The angel asked God, “Why would you let him do that?”
God said, “Because, he can never tell anyone about this great shot he just made. Now THAT is living hell!!”

HA HA love that one



Steve
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

17 Aug 2010   #1914
steve-pressman

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
 
 

Texas rancher and his wife were arguing while touring Paris. They were hardly speaking to each other after being seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.
When the waiter arrived, the rancher said," I'll have a BIG THICK PORTERHOUSE STEAK."
The waiter replied,"Monsieur, what about Ze Mad Cow?"

He said, "She'll have a Salad!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2010   #1915
gladson1976

Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx
 
 
Why girls don’t love software guys….?

Jokes Thread-flowers-1.jpg

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Jokes Thread-flowers-4.jpg


My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2010   #1916
Kirsch

Windows 7 Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by gladson1976 View Post
The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole.
That's only a 150 yard hole..
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2010   #1917
CarlTR6

Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by gladson1976 View Post
A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day...”
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17 Aug 2010   #1918
The Howling Wolves

Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
 
 

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2010   #1919
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other
My System SpecsSystem Spec
17 Aug 2010   #1920
Thorsen

Win7 Home Premium 64x
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other

Besides that last one, I am doing good.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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