Jokes Thread

Will F1 Command Really Work

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back ****er"
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<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%
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<by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I'm an idiot?
<Seven7> Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
<by> Kk
<by> I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
<by> ?
<by> Now what?
<Seven7> Don't worry. It's done
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<sphynx> crushes suck
<sphynx> i hate em
<sphynx> the dilemma, the desperation
<sphynx> the hopes dashed etc
<shirazz> the masturbation
<shirazz> hehehe
<bark> the masturbation is ok.
<Kyoto> hey.. the masturbation is good..
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<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homo.. I use mac
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<tom_0369> man
<tom_0369> im never moving to seatle washington
<tom_0369> i flew over it and it was raining and gray as ****
<tom_0369> it was depressing
<sammich> when was this?
<tom_0369> flight simluator 2004
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<NyseriA> Things I've learned about war from videogames: If you find yourself mortally wounded by an enemy sniper be sure to let him know that he is a faggot.

Wife: 'What are you doing?

Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
ا
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'


------------ --------- --------- -

Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

Donkey A :- My Owner Beats me a Lot.

Donkey B :- Why Don't you run away ?

Donkey A :- I wanted to.... But my future is really bright here...
Donkey B :- How ?
Donkey A :- When ever my owner's beautiful daughter commits a mischief, my owner warns her by saying,
"I'll Marry you with donkey if you repeat any mischief....!"
That's why i'm still here........

Keeping Hopes may not improve your future, but it will certainly reduce the pain of Today !!!











--
"Silence is the true friend that never betrays"

The Famous Banta Singh

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'Start' but there is no 'Stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 'Re-scooter' is available in system? I find only 'Re-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learned 'Microsoft Word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

6.. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Banta


P.S.
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is GATES but you are selling WINDOWS?

Found this on a guy's block (www.icanhasdevjob.com)

I work at "Nerd"Squad but finished my degree in computer science a year ago. This has given me not only the opportunity to experience the sheer stupidity of the computer-using public - as all "Nerd"Squad employees must - but also the sheer stupidity of my fellow "Nerd"Squad employees. Last week, one of the other guys called me to the back to give him a hand.

When I got there, I was dumbfounded. Here's what the guy was trying to do:

He had a brand new Samsung Jack phone on the bench.
It was plugged into wall power.
It had a USB cable in it that went to a USB hub (which was powered).
The hub had another USB cable in it that went to an external DVD drive (which was also powered).
The external DVD drive had a copy of Windows 7 Ultimate in it.

Here's his sole question before I walked out:

"Hey, Mike, this guy wants Windows 7 Ultimate instead of Windows 6.5 Mobile. Where do I find this DVD drive on here?"

Today at noon it got above freezing for the first time this year. Spring is on its way!

Gettin' closer every day. :)