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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

15 Aug 2009   #31
garysgold

Vista Ult 64 bit Seven Ult RTM x64
 
 

Enjoy.

Gary
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15 Aug 2009   #32
masterB

Windows 7 Professional x64
 
 

Thanks Gary!
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15 Aug 2009   #33
garysgold

Vista Ult 64 bit Seven Ult RTM x64
 
 

My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

15 Aug 2009   #34
tw33k

Windows 7 Ultimate (x64) SP1
 
 

two flys are on a piece of dog sh1t having lunch. one stops eating, looks around, cocks his back leg and farts. the other fly slaps him in the mouth and shouts "you dirty *******! don't fart while i'm eating!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Aug 2009   #35
SquonkSC

Win7 Build 7600 x86
 
 

A man with gangrene on both legs goes to the doctor to get the results of his last test.

The doctor says, I have good and bad news.

The guy says, ok, give me the bad news first.

Well, I'm afraid we will have to amputate both legs. I'm sorry.

The guy bursts into tears and the doctor puts his arm around him.

After a few minutes the guy calms down and asks, what is the good news then?

The doctor says, One of my colleagues want's to buy your Armani shoes.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Aug 2009   #36
Ballistyx

Windows 7 RC build 7100x64 // 7260x32
 
 



Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Aug 2009   #37
DJG

 

Three men were walking when one suddenly collapses and dies. The police arrived, identified the dead man as John Murphy from his wallet, and started questioning the other two men.

"Do you have any idea why your friend might have died suddenly"? One of the friends scratched his head and said, "Well, it could be because he had two a$$holes".

The police officer stared at him. "Really? Are you sure?? How do you figure that"?

"Well, officer, everytime me and my brother walked into the Midnight Nightcap with John, Dave the bartender would always say "Hey, here comes Murphy with the two a$$holes".
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Aug 2009   #38
Ballistyx

Windows 7 RC build 7100x64 // 7260x32
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by DJG View Post
Three men were walking when one suddenly collapses and dies. The police arrived, identified the dead man as John Murphy from his wallet, and started questioning the other two men.

"Do you have any idea why your friend might have died suddenly"? One of the friends scratched his head and said, "Well, it could be because he had two a$$holes".

The police officer stared at him. "Really? Are you sure?? How do you figure that"?

"Well, officer, everytime me and my brother walked into the Midnight Nightcap with John, Dave the bartender would always say "Hey, here comes Murphy with the two a$$holes".
My System SpecsSystem Spec
16 Aug 2009   #39
ratePV

Windows 7 SP1 x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Antman View Post
How many MS Technical Support reps does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-----------------------------------
Dear Valued Customer,

We apologize that you are experiencing difficulties with MS Light Bulbs. To hear these options again, press 1.

Answer from MS: "Wont Fix!" looool
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18 Aug 2009   #40
tw33k

Windows 7 Ultimate (x64) SP1
 
 

An American, Englishman and an Australian walk into a bar. The barkeep turns round and says "What? Is this some sorta joke?!"
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