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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

29 Jan 2010   #461
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by D3ftOn3Z View Post
Here's a short one...

Energizer bunny arrested..Charged with battery.

My System SpecsSystem Spec
30 Jan 2010   #462
Coolness

Win 7 pro 64-bit, Ubuntu 9.10 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by derekimo View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by mak View Post
one day wife came house with a goat,:
Husband replied, why you came with a buffalo:
Wife: It's not a buffalo, a goat
husband : Well i am asking that from goat


Oh no you dih ent.
oh snap!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
31 Jan 2010   #463
Kari

 

BBC News today:

The government in the UK has decided to end left-hand traffic in two stages: From January 1st 2011 buses and heavy vehicles over 10 metric ton start driving on the right.

Cars, vans and all the rest stay left, starting right-hand traffic January 1st 2012.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

31 Jan 2010   #464
jfar

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

Very good Kari. Talking about years.


A Blonde's Year in Review


January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.........bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got r eally excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said ' 2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ...
Power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid........wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....
They are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ...
Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December

Couldn't call 911.
'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
31 Jan 2010   #465
Kari

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jfar View Post
...
March
Got r eally excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said ' 2-4 years!'
...
Coffee all over the place! Second time today... (referring to this, which resulted this).

Kari
My System SpecsSystem Spec
31 Jan 2010   #466
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jfar View Post
Very good Kari. Talking about years.


A Blonde's Year in Review


January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.........bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got r eally excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said ' 2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ...
Power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid........wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....
They are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ...
Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December

Couldn't call 911.
'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

My System SpecsSystem Spec
01 Feb 2010   #467
Coolness

Win 7 pro 64-bit, Ubuntu 9.10 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Kari View Post
BBC News today:

The government in the UK has decided to end left-hand traffic in two stages: From January 1st 2011 buses and heavy vehicles over 10 metric ton start driving on the right.

Cars, vans and all the rest stay left, starting right-hand traffic January 1st 2012.
Lol What?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Feb 2010   #468
HJA

 
Run this through your spell checker

Don't know if this has been posted before, but I like it!

Run this through your spell checker:

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee four two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
Eye am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Makes sense to me!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
05 Feb 2010   #469
Minotar

Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit
 
 

How did Mary fall off her bike?
I threw a fridge at her.



I'll get my coat..
My System SpecsSystem Spec
06 Feb 2010   #470
Dwarf

Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by HJA View Post
Don't know if this has been posted before, but I like it!

Run this through your spell checker:

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee four two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
Eye am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Makes sense to me!
That just illustrates the limitations of spell checkers. Most of them just check the spelling of individual words and not the context in which they are written. So long as the words as written are correctly spelt and are in the dictionary used by the checker, they will not be flagged.

I have seen this before. Although we can tell by looking at it that the spelling is obviously incorrect, the checker doesn't pick up on this because they are all valid words that are in its dictionary. What makes this one particularly interesting is that you can read it out and it sounds as though the spelling is correct.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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