Jokes Thread

Dwarf said:

HJA said:

Don't know if this has been posted before, but I like it!

Run this through your spell checker:

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee four two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
Eye am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Makes sense to me!

That just illustrates the limitations of spell checkers. Most of them just check the spelling of individual words and not the context in which they are written. So long as the words as written are correctly spelt and are in the dictionary used by the checker, they will not be flagged.

I have seen this before. Although we can tell by looking at it that the spelling is obviously incorrect, the checker doesn't pick up on this because they are all valid words that are in its dictionary. What makes this one particularly interesting is that you can read it out and it sounds as though the spelling is correct.

My OpenOffice regocnized the word "chequer" as wrong. hehe. Nothing else. Thats really awesome. Do you know any spell checker that would flag the whole text?

HJA said:

Don't know if this has been posted before, but I like it!

Run this through your spell checker:

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee four two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
Eye am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Makes sense to me!

That's what Office Word tells me.
It corrects the ones in blue, red is spelling mistake, green after 'Miss' thought it was a name

The Cowboy Boots
( Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)

Did you hear about the Red Deer teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.

By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.

She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet..

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to. Once again, she
struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little Feet.

No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said,

'They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years

That is a good one Joan!

Joan Archer said:

The Cowboy Boots
( Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)

Glad you all liked it, my son-in-law sent it to me and I just had to share.

I had a nightmare last night that I had a boil on my willy. It wasn't just any boil it was Susan Boil.