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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

11 Feb 2010   #501
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by madtownidiot View Post
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant! Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning; your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be two factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they each will receive a factory and $2,000,000.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*** her again."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Feb 2010   #502
valtonray

Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Lil' Domii View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by valtonray View Post
yeah i've actually done a few of those things
What, Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy such as you
actually i still get in trouble for throwing things into the ceiling fan to see how far away it gets hit.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
11 Feb 2010   #503
BugMeister

Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
 
 

what's orange and sounds like a parrot?

- a carrot!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

12 Feb 2010   #504
ChrisYoung

Windows Seven Starter
 
 

Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents!

A baby seal walks into a club...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Feb 2010   #505
madtownidiot

 

A father and his son were flying Southwest Airlines from Oakland to Kansas City.

The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his father and said: "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?

The father, who couldn't think of an answer, told his son to ask the flight attendant.

So, the little boy asked the flight attendant: "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant asked: "Did your daddy tell you to ask me that?"

He nodded.

With a clever grin, she said: "Tell your daddy it's because Southwest Airlines always pulls out on time."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Feb 2010   #506
jfar

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ChrisYoung View Post
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents!

A baby seal walks into a club...
Talking about Seals.


My System SpecsSystem Spec
12 Feb 2010   #507
valtonray

Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by madtownidiot View Post
A father and his son were flying Southwest Airlines from Oakland to Kansas City.

The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his father and said: "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?

The father, who couldn't think of an answer, told his son to ask the flight attendant.

So, the little boy asked the flight attendant: "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant asked: "Did your daddy tell you to ask me that?"

He nodded.

With a clever grin, she said: "Tell your daddy it's because Southwest Airlines always pulls out on time."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Feb 2010   #508
Coolness

Win 7 pro 64-bit, Ubuntu 9.10 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jfar View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ChrisYoung View Post
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents!

A baby seal walks into a club...
Talking about Seals.


Is that Barman's avatar?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Feb 2010   #509
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jfar View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ChrisYoung View Post
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents!

A baby seal walks into a club...
Talking about Seals.


Naw that's just some ice cream.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
15 Feb 2010   #510
ChrisYoung

Windows Seven Starter
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jfar View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by ChrisYoung View Post
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents!

A baby seal walks into a club...
Talking about Seals.


WUT. I don't get it... Halp?
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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