Windows 7 Forums
Welcome to Windows 7 Forums. Our forum is dedicated to helping you find support and solutions for any problems regarding your Windows 7 PC be it Dell, HP, Acer, Asus or a custom build. We also provide an extensive Windows 7 tutorial section that covers a wide range of tips and tricks.


Windows 7: Jokes Thread

19 Feb 2010   #541
madtownidiot

 
Redneck logic

Redneck Logic Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Feb 2010   #542
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Win 10 Pro x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by madtownidiot View Post
Redneck Logic Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"

My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Feb 2010   #543
Kari

 

I have this friend who refuses to use computers. Instead he has a Mac.

One of these days I saw a man walk in to my local pub. He had no head, just a mighty big frog there where it should be, between the shoulders. I recognized him to be this friend of mine only because his 'I AM A PROUD MAC OWNER' T-shirt.

I asked: What the h***! What's that?

'I don't know. In the beginning it was only the hemorrhoids, then it started to grow!', says the frog.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

19 Feb 2010   #544
valtonray

Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by madtownidiot View Post
Redneck Logic Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"
lmao
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Feb 2010   #545
starwolf1336

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

HAHA, awesome redneck story.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Feb 2010   #546
madtownidiot

 
this one says it all...

...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
19 Feb 2010   #547
sergiogarcia9

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by madtownidiot View Post
...
My System SpecsSystem Spec
20 Feb 2010   #548
harry5

 

It's Still a Bad Economy

The recession, which has a specific definition, may be over, but the economy is still bad.
How bad is it?

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
The economy is so bad I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
The economy is so bad that CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
The economy is so bad McDonald's is selling the quarter ouncer.
The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and have had to learn their children's names.
The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
The economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on for you anymore.
and...
The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil was forced to lay off 25 Congressmen.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
20 Feb 2010   #549
pacinitaly

windows 7 professional & ultimate 64bit laptops
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by harry5 View Post
It's Still a Bad Economy

The recession, which has a specific definition, may be over, but the economy is still bad.
How bad is it?

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
The economy is so bad I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
The economy is so bad that CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
The economy is so bad McDonald's is selling the quarter ouncer.
The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and have had to learn their children's names.
The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
The economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on for you anymore.
and...
The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil was forced to lay off 25 Congressmen.

awesome!!!!!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
20 Feb 2010   #550
D3ftOn3Z

Win 7 Ultimate SP1 x64
 
 

A helping hand

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker.

She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars."

He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?"

"A hand job", Harry reply.

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE ......

She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"
My System SpecsSystem Spec
Closed Thread

Thread Tools


Similar help and support threads
Thread Forum
Jokes Thread [4]
No sex after surgery ... A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Chillout Room
Computer jokes!
Rules: ------------------ One joke per post No repeating of jokes ------------------ Il start: What do you call a computer with no graphics?
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread [3]
:note: continued from - https://www.sevenforums.com/chillout-room/106614-jokes-thread-2 ****** 22 ADULT TRUTHS ****** 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you...
Chillout Room
IT Jokes
If you can read German, then you will appreciate: Die schlechtesten IT-Witze - Derber Humor ohne Gewähr | TecChannel.de
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread 2
This is jokes thread! Post your best jokes! :D I will start first! :p A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."...
Chillout Room
Jokes Thread
Person 1:Knock Knock Person 2:Whos there? Person 1: Boo Person 2: Boo who? :huh: Person 1: ZOMG WHY U CRYIN??!? :p
Chillout Room


Our Sites

Site Links

About Us

Find Us

Windows 7 Forums is an independent web site and has not been authorized, sponsored, or otherwise approved by Microsoft Corporation. "Windows 7" and related materials are trademarks of Microsoft Corp.

© Designer Media Ltd

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:17.
Twitter Facebook Google+ Seven Forums iOS App Seven Forums Android App