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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

20 Mar 2010   #721
DocBrown

Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
 
 

A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in Texas!
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20 Mar 2010   #722
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by DocBrown View Post
A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

...

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in Texas!
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20 Mar 2010   #723
derekimo

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by DocBrown View Post
A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in Texas!

That was great Doc.
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.

20 Mar 2010   #724
starwolf1336

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

ahhh, what snakes wont do for Jack
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21 Mar 2010   #725
Arc

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Insider Preview 64-bit
 
 

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22 Mar 2010   #726
Fantail

7 x64 | 7 x64
 
 

Black or Green label?
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22 Mar 2010   #727
North Antri

Windows 7 Ultimate
 
 

God said 'And let there be light!'

Chuck Norris said 'Say Please!'
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22 Mar 2010   #728
harry5

 

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.


John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of
West Virginia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.





However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"


His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get'
em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.


John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".




Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH HEAR ME!!!"

Meet Coldwater.





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22 Mar 2010   #729
starwolf1336

Windows 7 Professional 64bit
 
 

HAHA, OMG, that was a good one Harry5
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22 Mar 2010   #730
noobvious

Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by harry5 View Post
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.


John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of
West Virginia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.





However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"


His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get'
em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.


John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".




Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH HEAR ME!!!"

Meet Coldwater.



Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by starwolf1336 View Post
HAHA, OMG, that was a good one Harry5
They say dogs' mouths are very clean, don't they?
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