Jokes Thread

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  1. Posts : 9,606
    Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
       #721

    A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

    I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

    Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

    A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in Texas!
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  2. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #722

    DocBrown said:
    A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

    ...

    A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in Texas!
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  3. Posts : 17,322
    Win 10 Pro x64
       #723

    DocBrown said:
    A Jack Daniels Fishing Story

    I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

    Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

    A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in Texas!

    That was great Doc.
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  4. Posts : 460
    Windows 7 Professional 64bit
       #724

    ahhh, what snakes wont do for Jack
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  5. Arc
    Posts : 35,373
    Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Insider Preview 64-bit
       #725

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  6. Posts : 983
    10 x64 | 7 x64
       #726

    Black or Green label?
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  7. Posts : 36
    Windows 7 Ultimate
       #727

    God said 'And let there be light!'

    Chuck Norris said 'Say Please!'
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  8.    #728

    Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

    This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.


    John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of
    West Virginia.

    After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.





    However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"


    His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get'
    em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

    For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

    Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

    Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.


    John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".




    Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH HEAR ME!!!"

    Meet Coldwater.



    Jokes Thread Attached Images Jokes Thread-1.gif 
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  9. Posts : 460
    Windows 7 Professional 64bit
       #729

    HAHA, OMG, that was a good one Harry5
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  10. Posts : 6,857
    Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
       #730

    harry5 said:
    Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

    This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.


    John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of
    West Virginia.

    After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.





    However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"


    His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get'
    em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

    For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

    Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

    Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.


    John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".




    Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH HEAR ME!!!"

    Meet Coldwater.



    starwolf1336 said:
    HAHA, OMG, that was a good one Harry5
    They say dogs' mouths are very clean, don't they?
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